Colorblind
by alphaIdiot
Summary: "Your name is Gamzee Makara, and you have been locked up in a cage your whole life. Ever since your mother died, you've been left with your poor excuse of a father. The one thing you love is just out of your grasp, and you know that things will always stay that way. You now have an important decision to make. What will you do?"
1. I am Colorblind

_**A/N**_: I don't know if this is just a oneshot or going to be a longer fic.. I love reviews and I love to hear people's reactions and opinions on my work, nice or constructive criticism. If you want me to continue this, feel free to tell me and I will! But until I get some people asking for more chapters, this will probably just stay a oneshot.. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I do not own the character, only the plot Idea.

**Based off of Colorblind by Counting Crows**

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The sky was a dull, smokey grey, as was the rest of the world. Even on the brightest of days, the clear blue of the horizon was ripped away, left in it's wake the same stormy dark shade of silver that filled the sky right before a storm. He liked storms. The feel of rain on his skin, whether it be icy from the cool fall weather, or warm and almost sticky from the heat of the summer, he liked the feel all the same. It was soothing to him, the small, pelting drops massaging his pasty skin, though only his face and hands that were regularly seen by others, coming in contact with the soothing water. Occasionally, with a rush of breeze or a roll of his sleeves, a glimpse of his torso or arms could be caught, the soft shape of his ribs and wrists, the dark purple bruises that coated them given a flash at the light of day.

He hated it. He hated everything, every touch, every sound, every scent and taste and sight. He didn't want any of it, he didn't ask for any of it. His world was colorless now, not just from genetics, but also from hatred and sadness. Longing, and lost hope. He was done with it all. Even the soft rings of smoke that curled around the chapped pair of lips in a silky slither didn't sooth the aching in his head. Nothing really seemed to be able to, as of lately. Nothing but Tav's laugh..

He watched from a distance as best he could. He didn't want to scare the small boy in the wheelchair, however much he wanted to reach out and ruffle his fluffy Mohawk or kiss him on the cheek. He had imagined more than once about what the strands of his messy hair felt like slipping through his fingers.. Soft, delicate. Glossy and shiny, just begging to have fingers stroked across and through it. If just his hair summoned up that much longing, one could only image what his lips did.. The teasing yet completely innocent biting when he was in deep thought, the soft stretch when he smiled really wide. The soft shade of pink they always seemed to be coating them, plump and full and oh-so luscious.

"But you can't have any of it.." He told himself, pressing the end of his already half withered joint between his lips, inhaling as deep as he could. He knew it would do nothing to help him forget, nothing could. Not even Tav, now that he thought of it.. Not at this point. He was just sick of everything, sick of his "friends", of his home life. Sick of all the shit he had gotten himself into, that he can't undo. They might try and find him again. Oh no, that was not something he needed right now, not something at all. He didn't need to deal with their shit, he had enough of his own. They would probably beat him again, because they thought he didn't get that enough when he was home. He didn't need to have that episode repeated.

Closing his eyes, he exhaled slowly, smoke slowly slipping out between his parted lips and the two small nostrils that sat at the base of his long, slightly crooked nose that may or may not have been introduced to fists a few too many times for it's own good. He raised a hand to his face, stroking it across his cheek. It still burned slightly, his soft, stroking touches smearing the makeup that caked it more that a previous hand already had. It ached, and felt swollen, but the gentle strokes didn't let up. Instead, he imagined, picturing it was the hand of the one person he cared about in this monochrome world trying to sooth the dull throbbing.

"I'm sorry I fucked up so bad.." Was all he said, his eyes opening. He was getting so sick of everything. Barely any of it was his fault, but he still felt the need to apologize for everything he had been forced through. Every beating he had taken, whether it was meant for him or someone else. Every night he spent crying, his body aching and those disgusting hands stroking his body. Every day he spent out of school, away from Tav, and with them, doing what he was told. What he was forced to do.

"I'm sorry Mom.." His voice cracked. Memories didn't seem to want to leave him alone, and he hated how many of them there were. "You must be so motherfucking ashamed of me.." He flicked the joint off the edge of the building, his head tilting just slightly so that he could watch it fall before distance hide it from view. He sometimes wished he could do that. Wished that he could just take a small, simple step, and let gravity do the rest for him. Let gravity take it all away, all of the torture and pain that he was sick of.

The gravel under his bony, too-thin frame shifted as he did, causing a soft scraping sound to echo oh-so faintly about the top of the apartment complex. He liked to sit up here as much as possible, scrounging a slice of bread, torn up into small pieces. He would let the birds eat it, keep him company while he watched, slowly sucking a joint into oblivion to try and find piece of mind. He had always found that the longer he spent up on the roof with the pigeons and crows, the better his days would be. The more time he spent on the roof, the less time he spent with his dad and his too-grabby hands.

Standing, he started to pace back and forth. The soft greys of the gravel he stared at with intent to kill rustling under his feet with each scuffed step he took. His mind was deep in thought, his expression contorted into one of pain, and a desperation for relief. He had heard it was easy. All he had to do was take a step, and close his eyes if he got scared. Whisper something soothing to himself, imagine he's far away from where he is. Keep himself from regretting, once he realized it was too late."

"I'm ready..." He chanted to himself softly. Psyching himself up.

"No more Dad.."

"No more missing Mom.."

"No more having to deal with the gang on my tail all the time.."

"No more lack of colors.."

"No more wanting something I know I'll never have.."

"I'm ready.."

He stepped up to the edge of the apartment building, hoisting himself onto the cement lip and looking over the monotone skyline before him. He had kind of liked New York, had his situation been better he may have been elsewhere. With people he liked, laughing and grinning. Enjoying life, with or without it's emotionless greys. He tried not to look down, though he knew he would have to at some point. He was doing this. It would all be over soon.. He wouldn't have to feel again, see any of it.. Hear those voices, taste the smoke or sour sweat and skin, or anything at all.

Raising his arms slightly, letting his head roll back, he cast the sky one last, weak smile. For a second, just the shortest instant, he thought he caught a glimpse of blue. Soft and delicate, yet almost icy, pale. He just stood there for a few moments, watching the sky, willing the blue back, feeling the breeze as it slowly laced through his thin, black Boondox t shirt, just as easily passing through his boney frame. It almost seemed encouraging as it pressed to his back. For the first time in a while, a soft, genuine smile graced his paint smeared lips.

"I'm fine.."

Your name is Gamzee Makara, and for the first time, you feel free.


	2. Coffee Black

_**A/N:**_ Alright. Well, ask and you shall receive. I managed to come up with quite a bit of plotline for this, so I believe this will be a new multichapter! Woo, two at once. Why do I feel like this will get confusing. ANYWAYS, If any of my readers on here also read TMLOB (The Mating Life Of Bees) then, I am in fact working on another chapter for that. It's just going kinda slow because I've had cosplay stuff I've been doing. Yay Military Sollux/designing and what not. It's been taking up quite a bit of my time, and yeah.. But anyways, here is chapter 2 of colorblind! If you guys have anything you wanna see happen in this story, just tell me and I will definitely put it in, and dedicate that chapter to whoever requested it. Enjoy, my lovelies3

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"I got big booty bitches, big, big booty bitches, WOOO, I got big booty bitches, big, big booty bitches, WOOO~" Gamzee seemed to leap out of his skin, stumbling as he lost his balance. He could feel his blood run cold when he started to lean forward, his eyes falling upon the pavement and causing him to instinctively taking a step backwards in an attempt to avoid his demise. He dropped from the foot and a half of concrete that made up the lip at the top of the building, landing on his close to non-existent ass in the rough gravel below him.

"Motherfucker." He snapped, before starting to dig about in his pockets for his still ringing phone. After hauling out his fair sized ring of keys, a few metallic gum rappers, a bottle of pills, and a lighter, Gamzee found the source of the obnoxious noise. Still shaken from his near-death experience, he answered the phone with labored breaths and an airy feel to his usually smooth voice, though it was getting rougher by the smoke.

"H-hello..?" He asked, sitting up and bending his knees.

"JESUS FUCK, DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE. OH MY FUCKING GOD, ARE YOU RETARDED?! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING."

"Heyyyy, best friend." Gamzee said, grinning and resting an elbow against his boney knee, hanging his head between his bent legs as he continued to slow and steady his breath. He could hear the worry behind Karkat's yelling, hear the irritated sighing that he seemed to let out every other word Gamzee spoke.

"Yeah, fucking hi. I'm coming up there, don't you dare fucking move. I will skin your boney ass and make a damn jacket out of it." Gamzee just chuckled at his friend's response, shaking his head slightly and closing his eyes. "Okay?!"

"Okay, Karbro. Calm your wicked tits man, I'm motherfuckin' fine." Gamzee said, still chuckling softly. Karkat just snapped his phone shut after that, leaving Gamzee five minutes alone as he made his way to the top of the apartment building. Gamzee let out a soft sigh, opening his eyes again, glaring at the steel grey gravel under him. Reaching down and picking up a particularly large stone and tossing it with a little too much force over the edge of the building. He could only hope it landed on someones head.

"What the motherfuck are you doing, brother.." He muttered to himself, letting out a soft grumble as he ran his hands through the black mat that is his hair. His fingers caught on the knots of the malnourished and frail stands, tugging at them and ripping through them. Gamzee winced, but he didn't notice. Hell, he even liked it, sometimes even feeling like he deserved it. Like he had done something wrong, and needed to be punished.

"Motherfuck!" He snapped, burying both of his hands in the strands. "Why can't I up and fucking do anything with my shitty life!" He yelled, hunching over so that his head was nearly pressed to the gravel. He pressed his thighs against his ribs, ripping and tearing at his scalp and hair in frustration and longing and satisfaction from the pain he was receiving. "Why can't I do shit right.."

There was a hand on one of his, another on his back. The soft sound of gravel shuffling under feet. Arms, sliding around his too-noticeable ribs. They were the gentlest pair of arms, hands in his life. They only wanted to heal and mend what all the other hands had already done; Hurt Gamzee. Make him suffer. Make him feel like he deserved everything they put him through, every kick and slap and intimate yet unwanted caress.

"G-gamzee..?" The voice came out as nothing more than a pathetic whimper, the feel of a body pressing against his side making Gamzee tense. He didn't like having someone press their body against him. It reminded him of his dad, and his dad always meant bad luck. Soft choking sounds caused Gamzee to raise his head, turning slightly to face Karkat. Dropping his hands from his hair, he could feel his jaw start to quiver slightly as his eyes watered.

Karkat was a wreck. His hair was disarrayed, his cheeks a darker shade of grey than the rest of him. His cheeks were most likely a bright red color, as result of the tears that were still spilling over the edges of his nearly black eyes. He looked heartbroken, his mouth contorted in pain as he gasped and whimpered and spluttered through his tears. Raising a hand, Gamzee pressed it lightly to his cheek, wiping away some of the freshly fallen tears with his thumb.

Karkat's face had always been round, though he wasn't a necessarily chubby person. He just had that sort of baby face, the edges softly sculpted to give him an almost youthful glow. The freckles dusting his cheekbones and nose just added to his childish appearance, his height only adding. He stood at about 5'4 on good days, the large grey sweater he was almost never seen without always hanging off of his well-built frame. It was his older brothers, it had been given to him before he was sent out to Afghanistan. This had been four years ago, when Karkat was only twelve. His present for his thirteenth was a folded up flag and a set of dog-tags.

"Karbro.." Gamzee muttered, frowning and wrapping his arms around his friend's shoulders. "What's making a brother all up and get his sad on..?"

"YOU, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT." Karkat near screamed at him, thrusting his head into the bone of Gamzee's shoulder, wrapping his arms tight around him and clutching to him in an almost desperate way. Gamzee just winced, shifting and wrapping his legs around his friend, pressing him right up against his chest. After that, they just sat together for a while, Karkat shaking and gasping into his shoulder while Gamzee just help him as close and tight as possible.

"Y-you scared me.. So s-so mu-much.." Karkat blubbered to him after he had calmed down a little bit. Gamzee just swiped the back of his hand across both of his speckled cheeks, before dropping them to his lap. He gazed down at them, tangling the fingers together as Karkat balled up one of his fists. He rubbing at his eye with it, his plump lower lip still trembling.

"Why the f-f-fuck would you d-do that.. G-Gamzee.." Karkat whimpered, his eyes starting to water again. Gamzee couldn't look up at him, he had always hated seeing his best and only friend upset, let alone outright sobbing. It just hurt even more to know that it was all his fault. He just shook his head, reaching a hand up to knot and rip at his scalp and mop of hair once again. He squeezed his eyes shut, teeth gritting.

"I'm.. So motherfuckin' sorry Karbr-.. Karkat.. " Gamzee spluttered to his friend, his fingernails digging into his scalp. "I don't know what the motherfuck I was up and thinkin.. My mind ain't been in the right place lately. Doesn't up and know where it motherfuckin belongs, brother." Gamzee rambled to his friend, fingers scratching and clawing at his scalp in frustration as he tried to figure out how he can fix things.

He felt a hand on his, trying to untangle Gamzee's long, boney fingers from his hair. He dared to glance up, finding Karkat focused on the task of removing his friend's hand from his scalp. Soon he had inched forward, Gamzee's face almost pressing against his chest. His hand had been removed already, Karkat having released that has he slowly parted Gamzee's hair repeatedly, both assessing the damage done by his overgrown fingernails, as well as trying to sooth him. And sooth it did, Gamzee soon found himself relaxed and pressing his forehead lightly to the soft grey fabric of Karkat's sweater.

"You need to stop doing this.. You're going to get scabs, you made yourself bleed.." Karkat muttered, having now removed his hands from Gamzee's hair, resting his forehead against the crown of his head. He let out a soft sigh, Gamzee quickly following suit. "You know, you're worth a lot more than you think.."

"Mm..?"

"You may not think so, but you mean a lot to people.. More people than you think.." Karkat murmured to him through the dark strands of hair blocking his mouth. They came out muffled, but they still made Gamzee wince. Frowning, he shook his head, jostling Karkat's as he did so.

"No I don't.. Nobody but you up and takes care of a brother. Only one that would motherfuckin' miss me, anyways.." Gamzee muttered. Karkat wrapped his arms around him with crushing force, shaking his head and pressing it harder against the top of his head. One of the most pitiful whimpers escaped his lips. Gamzee quickly returned the hug, rocking back and forth slightly and stroking Karkat's back.

"No, no, no.. Don't all up and get your cry on again, Karbro, it'll make my wicked eyes start to leak.." Gamzee muttered into his shirt, giving him a soft squeeze. Karkat returned it, and after taking a few gentle breaths, managed to compose himself. The two remained like that for a while, Gamzee slowly starting to feel better as he felt the warmth of a body against his, and knew that it was only meant to be reassuring. There was no invasion of the unwanted, no violation, not yelling and begging for everything to stop. Just comfort, and a feeling of safety Gamzee had long since forgotten.

"Hey Gamzee.."

"Yeah, best friend..?"

"You wanna.. You wanna get some icecream?" Karkat questioned him in an almost meek tone, pressing his face harder against the top of Gamzee's head. He only grinned though, nodding and pulling away to look at Karkat.

"I'd motherfuckin love some icecream, bro." He said, making Karkat give off that soft, rare smile that Gamzee loved so much. After a few moments of silence, Gamzee raised a pointy finger and tapped it against the tip of his companions round nose. "Well, c'mon then man. Let's get this motherfuckin show on the road, I'm starving!" Karkat let out a chuckle, swatting at his hand before pushing himself into a standing position. He offered a hand to Gamzee, he gratefully took it, and helped him onto his feet. He was startled when Gamzee didn't let go of it though, instead lacing the fingers together and grinning down at his short friend. Gamzee was nearly 6'4, and was about a foot taller than his friend, the height-difference making their friendship seem almost comedic at times.

"Hope a brother doesn't up and mind. I could go for a lil' hand holding is all." Gamzee said, that usual lazy smile still spread across his lips as he started for the stairs that lead down to the lobby of the complex, Karkat being dragged along the whole way.

"N-no.. It's fine.." Karkat muttered, his cheeks turning a darker shade of grey than they normally are. He was blushing. So motherfucking cute. Gamzee grinned wider, running the pointer finger on his free hand over his soft cheek, watching the color darken even more so. "What the fuck, Gamzee?!" He snapped, swatting at his hand. He was starting to slip back into his normal, I'm-going-out-in-public attitude, the change in behavior obvious the farther down the monotone stairwell they went. Before reaching the door into the lobby though, Karkat stopped.

"Don't.. Nobody knows about any of that." Karkat muttered, not daring to look up at his friend as he untangled his plush fingers from Gamzee's rough, sharp-edged ones. He only nodded to Karkat, reaching his hand up and patting him on the head. Karkat glanced up at him through the fringe of his hair, which sometimes managed to fall into his face. Straightening out the iron grey locks, which had been mussed up in what was probably distress over seeing his best friend standing on the edge of a fifteen story building.

"My lips are sealed, Karbro." Gamzee said, smiling at him softly. Karkat only nodded, before slipping out of the door of the stairwell, quickly ushering Gamzee out of the glass doors at the front of the building. They both assessed where the closest icecream shop would be, before they started off down the sidewalk.

"What flavor are you gonna up and get, bro?"

"What the fuck do you think. Chocolate, asshat, it's what I always get."

"Can I eat the cone?"

"Again, you're acting like we've never gone to a fucking icecream shop together. You know I hate cones, of course. Jesus.."

"Thanks Karkat.."

"For what?" Gamzee paused, stopping and smiling down at his worn converse. He had been told once they were purple, though he didn't understand the meaning. Purple was just another word for something he would never know truly.

"Making me feel like I belong."


	3. And Egg White

**_A/N_**: _ I hate to give away the ending of the chapter, but I feel the need to warn people._ **If you have any problems with mentioned/implied non-con/rape as well as offensive language (But hey, this story is about Gamzee, so I should hope it doesn't offend you) or anything along the lines of that, then please, stop reading when you start to get uncomfortable.** ** I do not want to be given shit about that kind of thing, so if you could please not force yourself to read that part of this chapter and instead just stop reading if you get uncomfortable, just continue to the next chapter if it's posted.** _The reason why I say this? Gamzee's father, who has yet to be given a name, is introduced in this chapter. And if the hints weren't picked up in other chapters, the two have a very abusive relationship. I don't want to make people uncomfortable or upset, so I'm telling people now that the end of this chapter can contain some offensive material. _

_ Now that the waring is out of the way, sup guys! Yayyyyy chapter three. I've gotten a fairly good amount of plot progress done with this, so there shouldn't be tooooooo many long waits for chapters within the near future. Also, if you have any ideas for names that Gamzee's Father could have, then by all means, feel free to share! I like to have my fics involve reader participation, which means if you have ideas or thoughts on how you may want the plot to progress, characters that should be added, ships you might want me to include, etc, then by all means, share them with me! I don't bite, haha, I love talking to my readers. :3 Anyways, I'll shush now and let you get on with this chapter. I'm sorry if it's kind of long, and may have errors. I don't have a beta reader, so there may be mistakes. But yeah, enjoy~_

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The pair was assaulted by voices and music as they entered the large icecream and candy shop. The tinkling of the bells that hung above the door wasn't even heard over the roar of laughter and talking and music. The center of the room had been cleared, many bodies shifting together in it. Taken slightly aback by everything, Karkat stared in an almost disgusted way, while Gamzee stared in awe. He wished he could be part of it, that he could blend in with everyone else that well. He glanced down at Karkat in a questioning way, cocking his head to the side and giving him a grin. Karkat just glanced up at him, sighing.

"Maybe after we finish our ice cream.." Karkat muttered. Gamzee instantly lit up then, before making his way over to the counter. Karkat trailed behind him, digging about in his pocket for his wallet. Unlike Gamzee, Karkat was both well-off and had a job, though he was more than willing to help feed his companion whenever he could. He knew his friends homelife was bad, but he didn't know everything. He didn't know about his dad, about the things he did. He was never given further explanations to his bruises beyond a brief "I fell" or "Ran into some motherfuckers." before the subject would be changed.

After Gamzee had finished ordering, Karkat handed over his money. They stood, waiting for their food to arrive, Gamzee staring out at the difference people dancing, while Karkat kept his back towards it. He only turned when Gamzee started to question him, making large hand gestures about the room- Specifically at the lights.

"Best friend.." Gamzee started, his eyes wandering about the ceiling and many faces. "What color are the lights?"

"Uh.. Well, a lot of them are just norma-"

"The colored ones, man." Gamzee grinned, glancing down at his friend as he leaned back against the counter. "What are they all up and making themselves to be."

"Well, there's some blue, reds.. A green one over in the corner." Karkat motioned to the far side of the joint, where a flashing light could be seen. "Oh, there's also a purple o-"

"Was there a color you wanted the lights to be? They're inter-changeable if you wanted a specific color." The lady behind the counter said, handing the pair their cones.

"Nah, sis. " Gamzee said, flashing her a smile and giving his mint ice cream a lick. "Just colorblind." He gave him a curious gaze, before nodding. She opened her mouth to say something, most likely question him on his disability. Karkat had heard their questions too many times before, and before she could say anything, he turned.

"Hey, Gamz." He said, catching his friends attention. "Want to go sit down? My feet are starting to fucking hurt, been walking all day." He grumbled, nodding towards two empty seats in front of the counter. It was right in the window of the shop, and Karkat hated feeling like he was on display, but he didn't want to sit here and listen to the brunettes 101 questions she had to ask. Gamzee just grinned down at him, nodding.

"Sure thing, best friend" He said, draping his free arm around his shoulder and leading him over to the two seats Karkat had pointed out. Sitting down, the two ate their icecream in silence. Gamzee practically inhaled his food, given his always near-starved state, and waited for Karkat to finish lapping at his chocolate icecream. The cone was quickly discarded to Gamzee, who devoured it in record time. After having finished it, he looked at Karkat expectantly, watching the way his fingers thrummed against the counter top.

Gamzee was about to question his friend about dancing, when the tinkling of the bells indicated someone was entering the shop. Curious, both Gamzee and Karkat glanced up at the newcomers. Gamzee could feel his heart leap into his throat, and he reached forward and grasped Karkat's forearm when he saw that Tavros had entered the shop.

"Hey best friend, you think we could head out now?" Gamzee questioned him in a low, and almost desperate tone. He had told Karkat before about how much he liked Tavros. Understanding, Karkat nodded to him, standing and starting for the door. Something tugged at the bottom of Gamzee shirt though, before he could fully reach for the door handle. A meek voice started to question him.

"Y-you're.. You're Gamzee Makara, r-right..?" The boy questioned Gamzee, who's cheeks instantly flared to a glowing red when he saw that none other than Tavros Nitram was questioning him on his name. He nodded to him, staring down at him in a questioning way. He was cute when he stuttered, Gamzee thought as he waited for him to continue.

"I'm Tav-vros.."

"Yeah, I know man.."

"Oh, yeah.. R-right.." Tavros said, staring down at his hands, which were now folded in his lap. Gamzee cocked his head to the side, giving Tavros a questioning look. What would he want to do with Gamzee? Almost everyone from his school was scared of him, ever since someone had caught him out late with the gang he had mistakenly become part of, and taken pictures. You could just barely tell it was him, given the hat and bandana the group wore, but his tall, lanky body and the barely noticeable facepaint was enough proof.

"Did a brother up and needs somethin'?" Gamzee questioned him, squatting down in front of his wheel chair.

"I.. I, uh, W-was just wondering.. if you, might want to.. Hang out some t-time?" He glanced up at Gamzee, who's face instantly lit up. He gave him a wide grin, nodding.

"I'd motherfuckin' love to chill with you sometime Tavbro."

"Maybe w-we could, plan this at, uh, l-lunch tomorrow..?" Gamzee nodded to him again, his face cracked by his toothy, gleeful expression.

"Yeah man. I'll up and get my visit on then brother." Gamzee gave his shoulder a light pat. "I gotta walk my best bro home though, so sorry to just abscond on a motherfucker." Tavros simply nodded, giving him a shy smile, before Gamzee waved at him and exited the shop. Karkat, who was impatiently tapping his foot against the concrete, glanced up at Gamzee.

"The fuck are you grinning about chucklefuck." He questioned him, raising a bushy eyebrow his way. Gamzee just grinned down at him, starting down the sidewalk.

"Tav all up and said he wanted to chill sometime. Gonna plan shit out tomorrow at feeding time."

"Wait, you're going to school for once?"

"How else would I all up and get my plan on with a motherfucker?" Gamzee gave Karkat's back a pat as he rounded the corner. Karkat just smiled, letting out a soft sigh as the two trekked through the streets towards Karkat's home. There was a soft mutter of "I'm happy for you, man." Before silence consumed the two of them. Walking side by side, Gamzee started to shiver and started forward at a bit of a quicker pace. Karkat, having shorter legs, had to start fast walking, though thankfully for the two of them, it wasn't too long of a walk.

Once the small house on the outskirts of town could be seen, crammed between two of equal size and proportion, Karkat and Gamzee silently raced for the door. Once at it, Gamzee grabbed Karkat's shoulder, cutting him off before he could say his goodbyes to his friend.

"You.. You think I could stay here tonight..?" He asked him in a labored, yet meek tone. Karkat frowned, glancing down at his feet.

"Gam, that would be the fourth time this week.." Karkat muttered. "My parents love having you over, but they've already told me that you can't move in.." Gamzee just frowned, nodding to him. Karkat was his only escape from his father. He knew that he would regret not pushing farther at the matter, or even telling Karkat what went on when he was at home, why he was always trying to avoid going home. Why he never wanted Karkat to come over, god forbid he stay the night. His father had made threats about friends staying the night...

"Well, I'll just see your choice ass at the schoolfeeder tomorrow, best friend." Gamzee faked a smile, patting his friend on the top of his head, ruffling his coppery locks. Karkat just rolled his eyes, before reaching forward and hugging his friend tight.

"Maybe another night you can come over.. Like next weekend? " Karkat offered through his friends shirt. "I feel real shit about you not staying over, especially after what happened today.. I don't want to leave you alone.." Gamzee just enveloped his friend in with large, wiry arms, chuckling.

"I'm fine brother. Don't get your worry on for a motherfucker."

"Maybe I could spend the night? That way you wouldn't be alone, and I wouldn't have to leave you alone." Karkat offered, hugging him tighter. Gamzee instantly tensed, shaking his head.

"You know that a brother can't up and let you come over." Gamzee muttered to him.

"But why, Gamzee. I offer so much and you always tell me no. Can I get a reason this time." Karkat snapped out.

"I wish I could tell you.." Gamzee muttered under his breath, closing his eyes and hanging his head. "Brother just doesn't need that kind of shit all up and getting it's chill on in your head best friend." Karkat let out a frustrated sigh, pulling away from Gamzee. He dropped his arms from around his short friend, frowning slightly.

"Will you ever tell me?"

"One day, motherfucker.." Gamzee muttered. "One day.." Karkat simply nodded to him, before giving him a soft "see you tomorrow at school" and waving as he walked into his house. Gamzee stood there and watched him, wishing that his father would greet him the way Karkat's did. Would act the way Karkat's did, treat him the way Karkat was treated. He hated his father, and the way he treated him- Like a toy. Karkat's father gave him a curious look at he peered through the glass front door. He pushed it open, sticking his head out.

"You okay, son?" questioned the teen. Gamzee snapped out of his thoughts, dropping his head and giving the ground a bittersweet smile.

"I'm fine, .." he muttered softly. After neither of them moved, Gamzee continued. "Was just getting my think on about how I wish I up and got a dad as wicked as yourself." simply smiled at his broken sentence, reaching forward and pressing his large, yet gentle hand to his shoulder.

"Sometimes I wish I could have a son as good as you." He replied, though there was a muffled retort to him made by Karkat. Gamzee couldn't make out what he had said, but the pair laughed.

"No you don't, sir.." Gamzee muttered, letting out a sigh and taking a step away from the door. "Have a nice night, ." Was all he said, before giving a short wave and walking away before could respond. He was around the corner in a flash, though his pace slowed drastically once he was out of sight of his friend's house. He knew that he shouldn't be out at night, especially when people were definitely looking for him, you can't just ditch a gang after all. But he didn't want to get home. He didn't want to face what was waiting.

Still, Gamzee made his way home. He climbed up to the fourth floor of the apartment building that he called his home, much to his distaste. He was greeted by the same mess of a front room, and closed the door as quietly as he could. He knew that he would be there, though. Emerging from his room, a tall figure stalked across the front of the apartment, pausing in front of Gamzee.

"Hey, son." He said. His voice was smooth as honey, and kind. Gamzee knew that he wasn't going to be kind though, his intentions all too obvious when he reached a hand out a stroked at his son's pale cheek, smiling down at him. "Were you with your friend..?"

Gamzee didn't respond. Instead, he just turned his head away from his father's touch.

"Son.." His voice dropped an octave, some of the kindness slipping out of his voice. "Gamzee." There it was.

"Yes." He snapped, squeezing his eyes shut. "Yes, I was with Karkat.." His voice was meek, soft and fearful.

"You know better than that.." His father snarled to him under his breath, hand slipping down to his throat. He caressed it with his smooth finger tips, head cocked to the side. "You know better than to not answer my questions." Before Gamzee knew what was happening, he was already being shoved against the door, a pair of shiny, sharp teeth grazing and nipping at his neck. A choked whimper escaped his mouth, out of both fear and pleasure he wished he wouldn't feel. He didn't want this, never asked for it, how ever much his father forced him to say it.

"Please, not tonight.." He tried to plead with him, raising his hands to press against his chest, attempt to push him away. It was to no use though, he was shaking, and scared. His father had always had a way with taking every ounce of strength out of him, reducing him to a shaking, terrified puddle once he was finished with him.

"Please, just not tonight.." His father only chuckled at his pleas, Gamzee could feel him grinning against his throat.

"Mm, you're so cute when you beg.." A large thigh was forced between Gamzee's legs, pressing up with a little too much force. He let out a soft hiss, trying to shift away from his father. "I know you want it.." His breath was sticky against Gamzee's ear, making him shudder and wish he hadn't returned home. "Stop trying to fight it.." He rubbed his tight against the crotch of Gamzee's pants, though after a few seconds of no response, he growled. Grabbing Gamzee by the hair, he started to drag him through the house, towards his open bedroom door.

"Motherfucker, we're going to have fucking fun tonight." Gamzee didn't say anything. Instead, he just let himself be led by his hair into the bedroom, trying to keep up the best he could on weak legs. Trembling as he was flung towards the bed, he tripped on the edge and plummeted into the smooth sheets oh his fathers bed, slightly crumpled from previously being occupied. He curled in on himself, hiding his head.

"Motherfucker, why are you hiding." His father snapped at him, the smile in his voice lathering his voice. Gamzee just raised his arms up higher, covering his head the best his malnourished arms could. He let out a loud yelp when he felt something crack down hard on his forearm, his yells and pleas getting louder the harder and faster the strikes came. He knew the sensation well, knew that when his father used his belt it always meant he would be even more mistreated that night. When his father had finally reduced him to a crying mess, he stopped, daring to reach out and stroke at his son's hand gentle.

Gamzee didn't fight anything that he tried to do to him. He did as he was told. He said was his father wanted to hear, and did what he knew he would want, to the best of his extent. By the time the two had finished it was four am, Gamzee barely managing to drag himself into his own room. His father had slipped into the shower, and Gamzee knew better than to try and shower before him. It would always end with him barging in and round two would commence. Trembling, he managed to fall into a thick, dreamless sleep, only waking up to the blaring of his phone the next morning at 6:45, showing that he had a call waiting.


	4. Pull Me Out From Inside

A/N: I'm sorry that this is so long! I didn't intend to have that much happen in this chapter, but instead you get backstory and what-nots. Also, thank you Adorablebloodthirstykitty for giving me a great suggestion for Gamzee's Dad's name :D I really liked it, so I used it! Also, just a general thank you to everyone who reads this, as well as my other fanfictions. TMLOB has about 40? followers, and I just.. I can't believe it. I never thought there would be 40 people out there who want to read something that I write! But yeah, anyways, enjoy this chapter! Review if you wish, feel free to give plot ideas/shipping ideas/opinions/if you see a mistake. I don't bite, and I love hearing from people, and what they think of my writing. X3

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"Gamzee, come on! We're going to be late for fucks sake, I'm out front." Karkat snapped at Gamzee as soon as he answered his phone. Gamzee sat up slightly, letting out a grunt as he shifted into a sitting position. "Gamzee? Hello?"

"Uhh.. Yeah, Karbro.. I'll be down in a sec.." Gamzee muttered, letting out a soft whimper as he tried to stretch.

"Dude, you sound like you're in pain." Karkat muttered, his tone calmer than before. "You okay? Nothing happened, right? Didn't run into anyone?"

"Nah, just.." Gamzee groped for something to say, an excuse for the bruises on his bare, pasty skin. "Just, uh, slipped in the motherfuckin' shower." He let out a soft yawn, sliding off the edge of his bed and standing. Slightly unbalanced, he made his way over to his chest of drawers and started to dig about inside of it, listening to Karkat's lecture the whole while.

"You are just.. Ugh, my fucking god, how did you slip in the shower?!"

"Showers are slippery as shit man. Just all up and getting themselves covered in so-"

"Gamzee." The lanky boy jumped when he heard a voice calling to him softly from the doorway of his room. He turned and stared at him with wide eyes, cautiously lowering the phone from his ear. He grasped it lightly in his palm, his thumb resting against the end call button, ignoring his friend's questions as he watched the beckoning curl of his father's index finger with hard, indigo blue eyes. He made his way over to his father hesitantly. "Odd, you being up this early."

"Was going to school, old man." Gamzee said in a harsh, nearly hateful way. He winced, shrinking back from his father when a hand was raised. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, please.." He whimpered to the tall figure in front of him. It did nothing to stop the resounding slap that was landed on his cheek, causing Gamzee to let out a shrill yelp as he stumbled just slightly from the force, accidentally pressing the end call button on his phone.

"We talked about insulting me, boy." His father snapped at him, grabbing Gamzee by the hair as he had the night before. He tugged at it in a harsh way, Gamzee's blood running cold as he looked between him and the opened door across the hallway. "...You call me by my first name."

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. Please, Makarin, I'm sorry.." Gamzee pleaded to him, fearful of last night's events repeating themselves. He was supposed to meet Tavbro today, he couldn't miss school. "Please, not right now.."

"What shouldn't happen right now." Makarin questioned him, teeth bared as if he was snarling. "Say it, runt."

"M-messing around.." He muttered, hands shaking as they reached up to try and untangle Makarin's long fingers from Gamzee's unwashed, knotted hair. "Just, not right now.. I have to get to school.. "

"Not right now?" Makarin smirked down at him, pulling his hand from Gamzee's hair and instead twining his fingers with the wiry teen in front of him. "Later then, when you're home?"

"..So long as it isn't right now.." Gamzee murmured in a defeated way, not meeting the tall man's gaze, instead choosing to hang his head and watch the floor. He winced as his father's hand slid up his arm, ghosting over the bruises on his arms from his previous beating. They quickly made their way down Gamzee's bare back, pressing against the lower half and pulling him closer.

"Don't worry sweet heart, I won't be as.. Rough, tonight." A quick peck was left on his cheek, before the pair's exchange was interrupted by the harsh banging on the front door of the apartment. Gamzee could feel his father's fingernails digging into the small of his back, before he stepped away from him, stalking towards the front of the apartment. "Get dressed." Was all he snapped to Gamzee, before he disappeared from the short hallway.

As soon as he was out of sight, Gamzee rushed back to his dresser. Cursing to himself, Gamzee quickly tossed his phone onto his bed before he started to rip articles of clothing from his various drawers. A pair of black and purple polka dotted boxers were thrown on, though they were loose on his under-fed frame and hung down lower than necessary. A pair of worn jeans followed, rips in the knees from being pushed and shoved about all-too often. He could hear yelling from the front of the apartment, before the pattering of feet down the hallway.

"Gamzee?!" A familiar voice called. Panicked, the boy started to fuss with the t-shirt he had selected, throwing it over his body to hide the worst of the bruises, welts, and hand print shaped markings. He was just grabbing his jacket and backpack when a stout figure burst into the room, Makarin not far behind. "I heard yelling, are you okay? What happened?"

"Gamzee, what is this?!"

"I-I.."

"GAMZEE." The pair snapped at the teen as he recoiled, inching back towards his bed.

"Gamzee, who is this boy."

"K-karkat.." Gamzee muttered hesitantly, not meeting his father's gaze. "Karkat, I thought I told you to all up and NOT come the motherfuck over." Gamzee hissed at his friend, who was starting to make his way over to him. Gamzee quickly pulled on his hoodie, hoping that Karkat hadn't seen the blooming bruises on his pale arms.

Karkat just looked between the two, flinching when he saw Gamzee's father's harsh gaze. Karkat glanced back over at Gamzee, fists clenching and relaxing. He was nervous now, his burst of adrenalin having dissipated by now as he shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"W-we need to get to school, Gamz.." Karkat muttered. Gamzee just nodded, before pointing to the door. He met his friend's eyes for a moment, before he met the harsh indigo glare that was his fathers. His tone was almost protective as he spoke.

"Go back down stairs. I'll meet a brother there." Karkat, taking notice of the serious tone in his voice, just nodded before making his way back towards the door. When the sound of it slamming shut echoed through the apartment, Makarin stalked towards Gamzee. His eyes were hard, his fists clenched. Gamzee half expected him to start "teaching him a lesson", but instead, he just grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

" What have you told him."

"N-nothing" Gamzee said to him, eyes wide and doe-like as he stared at his father in a fearful way.

"It doesn't seem like nothing."

"I swear, man. I haven't told him a motherfucking thing. I-I always come up with some kinda excuse, up and save my ass.." He said to him, hands clawing at the large one that held him captive. His farther nearly growled at him as he released his shirt, the collar now stretched even farther than it had been. He just nodded to him, before he dropped a hand on the top of his head and patting it lightly.

"Get to school." Was all he said, before he stepped out of the way. Gamzee hesitantly made his way past his father, before sprinting his way out of the apartment and towards the stairwell. All but jumping down a flight at a time, Gamzee burst into the lobby and fast-walked out the glass doors that made the entrance of the building. Karkat was pacing back and forth out front, eyes downcast as he awaited his friend's return. He perked up when he heard the doors swing open, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw his friend exit the building seemingly unscathed.

"Jesus fuck Gamzee, what was I fucking hearing?!" He yelled at his friend, hands clenched at his sides as he leaned back and glared up at his friend in a harsh way. Gamzee just stared down at him in a confused way, eyebrows furrowed. Heard what?

"Oh my fucking god.. On the phone, when we were on the fucking phone." Karkat threw his arms over his head, making large hand gestures as he explained himself. "And, your dad interrupted, and, and yelling and you kept saying sorry and.. " Karkat's voice trailed off as his shoulder's drooped, staring up at Gamzee like he was about to start crying. Gamzee just pulled his friend into a hug, relaxing when the stout teenager accepted it and hugged him tight.

"'M sorry, best friend.." Gamzee muttered to him, letting out a sigh as his friend hugged him tighter. It put pressure on the bruises, though Gamzee tried to ignore that as much as possible for the sake of his friend. "Just.. It's not what it's making itself sound like man, don't worry." Karkat just sighed into his chest, pulling back after a second. With a sigh, Karkat glanced down the sidewalk.

"We should get to school.." He muttered in an almost hesitant way, dropping his arms from around his friend. Gamzee just nodded to him in agreement. "Don't want to be late, or anything." Without a word, Gamzee started forward on the sidewalk, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. His posture was stiff, his body aching still though he tried to ignore it the best he could.

Within fifteen minutes, the two had arrived in front of the highschool. Karkat didn't hesitate the way Gamzee had when he grabbed one of the double doors, pulling it open. Karkat waited for him inside of the building, impatiently tapping his foot as his friend slowly meandered his way inside of the highschool.

The pair was thankful for the large mass of people that were clustered in the hallways. Gamzee trailed after Karkat as he went about his daily routine and finally to his locker, Gamzee not bothering to go to his. There wasn't anything he would need to get from it, so why bother with taking the time to open it. Eyes could be felt boring into every inch of his ivory skin as he leaned against the locker next to his best friend's, eyes closed as he waited for Karkat to gather his things and the pair could head to their first class, even though it was still relatively early.

"Shit, he's got a bruise on his cheek.." Gamzee caught someone's remark, opening his eyes and gazing around for the person who had been talking. When his searches ended fruitless, Gamzee sighed and straightened up. Karkat was rummaging about in his backpack, cursing under his breath as he searched for something.

"Hey best friend, I'll up and be back in a sec." He said to his frustrated friend, patting his back lightly before making his way down the hall, not waiting for a response. He kept his eyes from wandering over some of the questioning faces that stared up at him, up being more of a literal term. He was nearly six foot two, and definitely one of the tallest in the school. His father stilled towered over him though, standing at a freakish height of six foot four.

After a few more long strides, Gamzee made a sharp left and entered the Men's bathroom. Appearing to be vacant, Gamzee tossed his backpack onto the pale white counter in front of the mirrors, and hunched down to view his face. Just as the student in the hallway had stated, a dark purple bruise was blooming on his cheek. Reaching up a hand, he pressed his fingers to it ever so lightly, but recoiled almost instantly.

"Shit, motherfucker.." He muttered, letting out a sigh as he turned and started to rip a paper towel out of the container. He stopped when motion caught his eye though. A shift in the handicapped stall's door, the awkward shuffle of it opening and Tavros trying to push himself out of the way of the door before it closed on him. Reaching out, Gamzee managed to catch and hold it for him, giving him a slight smile.

"Oh, uh.. H-hi, Gamzee." Tavros said to him, flashing him a bit of a smile as he wheeled his way over to the short row of sinks and mirrors.

"Hey Tavbro."

"Thanks for, holding the door.." He said to him softly, flashing him a smile in the mirror. His expression dropped when he saw the bruise on his cheek. "I-Oh.. Uh.. A-are you okay?"

Gamzee just smiled down at the boy, mind wandering as he stared at him. He was so much cuter up close. Gamzee had never really spoken to him that much, other than just a brief hello in the hallway, or when he held a door open for him, as well as at the ice cream shop how ever brief that may have been. Dozens of faint freckles dusted his round cheeks, and delicate shape of his nose. His face was more long than it was wide, giving it an oval-like shape, the edges soft and subtle, contrasting Gamzee's sharp corners and angles. "G-Gamzee..?"

"Wha..? Oh, uh, yeah. Brother's all kinds of fine."

"I just.. Y-you have a bruise.." Tavros said, eyebrows furrowing. He quickly reached for a fresh paper towel, turning on the cold water before wetting it and beckoning Gamzee down to his level. "L-let me, help you.."

Gamzee didn't have to be asked twice. Instead, he simply dropped down onto his knees in front of Tavros. He kept his hands resting on his thighs as Tavros hesitantly reached forward and dabbed the darkening blotch on his cheek. He winced, ivory hands gripping at his loose and torn jeans as he fought not to recoil from the touch. This was what he had wanted, whether or not it had been under such painful circumstances though.

"I'm.. Not hurting you, am I?" Tavros questioned him, his hand starting to pull back. Gamzee just shook his head, smiling and leaning forward to connect his cheek with Tavros' hand and the paper towel. Closing his eyes, Gamzee let out a soft sigh as Tavros started to gingerly blot at his wound once again, the cold of the water slowly numbing that side of his face. After a few moments though, he pulled back completely. The sound of soggy paper being tossed into the garbage telling Gamzee that Tavros was done now, that he didn't want to sooth his wounds anymore.

Without a word, Gamzee stood. Cautiously, feeling as if he might break the small boy, Gamzee leaned over and pulled Tavros into a hug. Resting his chin on the boy's masculine shoulder, Gamzee could feel the way the muscles under his olive skin flexed and tensed as he first went stiff, before complying and hugging the lanky teenager back. After a few moments, Gamzee pulled away, stroking a hand through Tavros' hair and uttered a thanks.

"I'll, uh.. See you, a-at lunch?" Tavros stuttered to Gamzee, as he grabbed his backpack and threw it over his shoulder. Nodding to him, Gamzee flashed him a grin and waved before he exited the bathroom. The bell rang out in a harsh way as he slowly meandered his way back to his friends locker, finding him leaning against it chatting and laughing. Who was this?

"Oh yeah, it was hilarious." The girl said, her voice fluctuating in just the slightest way as she spoke, as if her voice kept breaking. A maw of teeth so sharp they could be considered dangerous glistening white as she spoke. Karkat let out a soft laugh, the girl joining in with him, her cackling excuse of a laugh over powering Karkat's soft, delicate chuckling. They both stopped though, Karkat jumping when Gamzee rested a large hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Took you long enough, the fuck did you go?" The girl stared up at Gamzee in an almost harsh way, her arms folded.

"Was getting my clean on in the bathroom." Gamzee said, gesturing towards his cheek.

"Okay, I'll be fucked if you say you got that from falling in the goddamn shower." Karkat snapped, turning slightly and glaring up at his friend. Gamzee just shrank back, glancing away and dropping the hand from his shoulder. Karkat let out a sigh, frowning slightly. "Look man, I know that life is shit sometimes.. But you re-"

"What aree you talking about, Karkles?" The girl butted in, a razor sharp hip jutting out to the side. Karkat glanced back at her, mouth slightly open from being cut off mid-word, before he let out a sigh.

"It's a long story, Terezi.." The girl just rolled her eyes slightly, letting out a sigh.

"Well fine then." She muttered, taking that as an "I'm not telling you." as she slid her bag over her shoulder. " I'll see you at lunch, Karkles." Karkat simply nodded to her, giving her a slight wave before turning back to his friend. Gamzee just leaned his back against the locker, one foot resting against the small bit of wall beneath the metal containers. He had his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, eyes trained on the floor.

"Gamzee..?" Karkat asked him softly, reaching up a hand and resting it on his shoulder. Gamzee jumped, wincing and pulling back from his friend's touch like he had just been burned. "Dude.. Did I just scare you, or did that hurt?" A shrug. Letting out a sigh, Karkat stepped in front of the tall man, blocking the man's view of the floor with his face. Gamzee let out a sigh. "Gamzee. C'mon, answer my question."

"Yes. Okay, yes, it motherfucking hurt." Gamzee snapped at him, squeezing his eyes shut and pushing off of the wall. He side stepped out of the way of his friend, starting to pad down the hallway.

"Hey, Wait!" Karkat snapped at him. Gamzee didn't stop walking though. "Goddammit Gamzee, I just want to fucking help." Karkat started to yell now, chasing after his friend. Wincing, Gamzee spun around to face him. More scared than mad, his words came out as a bit of a shout.

"Well maybe if I up and wanted your motherfucking help, I would have asked for it!" The few remaining students in the hallway were gathering now, some emerging from classrooms near by to see what all the commotion was. "I wouldn't get my avoid on when you try to talk about my shit." He was breaking down, fists clenched and eyes starting to water ever-so slightly. Karkat glared up at him, silent as he just stared at him.

"I don't motherfucking need help, brother."

"I think you do.." Karkat muttered softly, shoulders slumping. Both his voice and gaze dropped to the floor. "You're just scared of what asking will cost you."

"You'd never motherfucking understand." Gamzee muttered, seething. He was right, though. Karkat was right. Gamzee was scared of what might happen if he told someone what his father did, afraid of all the threats his father had made, which ones he would go through with. "You would.. NEVER. Get your motherfucking understand on for what it would be like." Karkat looked like he was going to say something. Reach out and try to hold his friend, comfort him. Gamzee turned away before anything could happen though, before Karkat could say any more.

The small crowd that had gathered around the pair parted easily when Gamzee started to stalk off. Whispers were already filling the otherwise silent air as Gamzee pushed his way past bodies and down the hall. He knew where he was going, it was one of the most comforting places he had ever spent his time. He would hide away for classes he didn't like, teachers soon giving up trying to find him after him having missed one too many. Slowly, he made his way down the now empty halls to the old and unused Music room.

The door creaked slightly when he pushed at it, reveling the near-empty room. Gamzee slipped inside, hand gliding over the wall to the light switch. They flickered slightly, before fully coming to life. There was a grand piano placed off to the left of the room, a large white sheet cast over it. A few rows of drums, all various different kinds, sat against the back wall. But Gamzee's eyes were set on the dusty, worn black case that sat in the farthest corner. He didn't trust keeping it at home, he just knew it would be destroyed in some way.

He treated it like it was his own child, handling the carrier with delicate fingers, tenderly pulling the zipper back to revel the dark brown acoustic guitar, stickers slowly peeling off in places. It was his prize possession, the one true thing he owned that meant the world to him. He grasped the neck lightly, pulling it from the case and setting the tattered black carrier on the floor. Shifting towards the middle of the room, Gamzee sat on the floor. He folded his legs and rested his pride and joy in his lap, plucking the strings as he tuned it.

It had been his brother Kurloz's. He had given it to Gamzee before he went off to Europe, to go to college. It broke Gamzee's heart to see him go, he kept their family sane. He kept their father in shape after their mother died, cooked them all dinner and helped pay for everything. He kept Gamzee feeling safe, keeping him well fed and off the streets, out of trouble. He took over for their mother, became Gamzee's life line. Two months after Kurloz had left, his father had started to lose it. Everything just went down hill from there.

Letting out a soft sigh, Gamzee finished his tuning. Slowly, he started to strum at the guitar, chords and lyrics coming back to him. Once he had played for a few minutes, he started to sing. Soft and rough at first, though confidence built up as it started to flow naturally.

"The world is ugly.. But you're beautiful to me. Are you thinking of me? Like I'm thinking of you.. I would say I'm sorry, but I really need to go.. I just wanted you to know.."

His brother use to sing it when Gamzee was feeling down about him leaving. It would always end with Gamzee in tears and begging Kurloz to stay, to take care of him and dad so that they could be happy together. That had been four years ago, when Gamzee was in middle school, when he was thirteen and hadn't fully grown up yet. When he was still covered in a small amount of chub, when people liked to talk and be around him because of his infectious smile and chortling laugh. But Gamzee was seventeen now, six foot two and all sharp edges. Childhood fat had faded and he was now just skin and bones, that smile gone and his reputation destroyed because of one night and one asshole with a camera. Kurloz wasn't twentyone anymore, wasn't home to keep him company and play music with him. He was twentyfive now, and almost a memory to Gamzee. He never called anymore, never talked about visiting, never said a word to his family. Gamzee had given up hope that he would ever come home, save the day like he use to when he was bullied at school.

"That the world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me. Are you thinking of me? Are you thinking of him? You could say you're sorry.. But I think you both should go. I just wanted you to know.. "

His voice cracked, his hand slipped. He drew a deep breath, closed his eyes, but his voice never softened. If anything, it got louder. Venting out his frustration with everything, with his father and the people he use to call friends. With Kurloz, and his mother, and just for being born. His breath hitched slightly as he drew in a deep breath.

"That there's an ache in my heart. And there's a burden in my eyes. I could could get a new start, but I'd rather learn not try. If I could find a new place, where maybe no one knows my name.. But I think it's just the thing.."

His hands stopped, his body shifting so that he could cling to the guitar. More shaking breaths were drawn as Gamzee tried to compose himself, needle thin arms twining around the stocky guitar. He pressed his face to his sleeve, ignoring the wince that followed as his forearm was rubbed against the dark purple bruise.

"Why'd you fucking leave.." He whimpered into the guitar, eyes squeezed shut. "Why'd you motherfucking leave?!" At who he was yelling at, he wasn't sure. A lot of people had come and gone in his life, and he was thankful that Karkat hadn't left it just yet. A soft whimper escaped his throat, and he hated himself for making such a pitiful noise, but he couldn't stop it. His mind slowly started to wander, bringing back those aching memories he hated. Memories of Kurloz, making promises, saying every year that he would take him to the carnival near halloween. That they could dress up together, and go goof off. That after, they could go trick or treating, and toilet paper a few houses while they were out. That they could watch The Nightmare Before Christmas on Christmas Eve, go iceskating and throw snowballs at all the neighbors dicks for kids. That Gamzee could help Kurloz make Thanksgiving dinner, that they could watch the Macy's day parade.

"You never did fucking anything though.." Gamzee spat at the ground. Something had always come up, Kurloz could never find the time to do anything. The carnival, the movies, making dinner together and pissing off the neighbors because they didn't think they did it enough. A soft choking sound echoed through Gamzee's torso and he curled in on himself even more.

"You promised me a fucking carnival.." He whimpered out, teeth bared. "YOU PROMISED ME A CARNIVAL."

He didn't hold back after that. He let everything out, rocking lightly as he clutched his forgotten brother's guitar in his hands and cursing the day he got a scholarship, got shipped out to Europe, to college. His anger wasn't directed towards everyone that had every come into his life, given him a false sense of safety and love, and then walked out just as easily as they had entered.

"Gamzee, oh my god.." Gamzee jumped, sitting up and staring at the doorway, towards the voice that held so much worry, concern. His cheeks were flushed bright red, eyes blood shot and glassy. He didn't hesitate for a second, dropping the guitar and nearly tripping and falling on his face in his rush to get to his feet, and run over to the figure at the door, nearly knocking him over as he crashed into him, holding on tight.

"Gamzee, dude, what's wrong.." Gamzee just continued to cry into Karkat's shoulder, clinging to his frame as the shorter man's arms encircled his torso. Letting out a sigh, he could feel Karkat stroking his back lightly, leading him back into the music room to sit down on the floor. The pair sat there, Gamzee sitting sideways in Karkat's lap and crying into his shoulder. Karkat said nothing, only rocking lightly and hushing him softly.

Once Gamzee had managed to calm down, Karkat had missed close to two classes. Clambering out of his lap to sit next to him, Gamzee ran the back of his sleeve across his cheeks, sniffling slightly. Karkat stared at him in a worried way, rubbing his back lightly.

"How'd you find me.."

"You weren't being the quietest Gamz.." Karkat muttered, retracting his hand from the taller man's back and resting it in his lap. "They heard you yelling and someone went to go see what the fuck was happening.. When they saw you were having a break down, they went and got me since.. Well.."

"You're the only person who would give half a shit."

"Hey, c'mon, that's not true." Karkat scolded him. He sighed after a moment though, and reached over to give Gamzee a hug. He halfheartedly returned it, eyes not raising from the floor. "Lunch is in a few minutes.. Don't want you missing your little meeting with Tavros." Karkat muttered to Gamzee. He cheered up slightly, a bit of a smile gracing his lips.

"Yeah, can't all up and forget that lil' motherfucker." Gamzee said back to him. Hesitantly, Karkat stood, holding out a hand of assistance to Gamzee. He took it gratefully, letting Karkat pull him up into a standing position. "Let's go, Best friend." Gamzee said to Karkat, reaching a hand up and ruffling his hair. Karkat just snorted, nodding as he did so beforestarting towards the door, Gamzee at his heels.


	5. I Am Ready

_**A/N: So I just now realized that I probably failed and forgot that Gamzee is supposed to be Colorblind in this AU. So I'm sorry if I made that mistake in past chapters. Anyways, I'm finally posting this. Not my favorite chapter, but I have plans for plot for at least the next two or three. So yeah, thank you for reading up to this point! :3 Reviews are always a really nice thing to have, I love to hear people's opinions on my work whether it's positive or negative. Enjoy~**_

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Karkat lead Gamzee through the halls of the school, both silent as they meandered their way to the cafeteria. The bells would be ringing soon and students would start filing out of their designated classes and rushing towards the cafeteria as well. Lucky for the pair though, they had time to spare before that happened.

"So.." Karkat started, hands stuffed into his pockets. Gamzee glanced down at him, an eyebrow raised in questioning as he waited for his friend to continue. "You play guitar?" Gamzee's face cracked into a bittersweet smile, letting out a soft sigh and letting his eyes watch the floor.

"Yeah.." He said softly. "Kurlz taught me when we were younger.."

"Before.." Karkat started, glancing up at him.

"Mom died, dad lost it, and he left. " Gamzee muttered in a harsh tone, finishing his friend's sentence. "Yeah, before all of that. I've been playing since I was 11."

"Well.. Maybe I could hear it some time?" Karkat asked him, shrugging his shoulders in an almost nonchalant way. Gamzee pondered the thought for a moment, before smiling over at him.

"Sure best friend. Why the motherfuck not." He flashed him a toothy grin, before glancing forward. The cafeteria was in view, Karkat already pulling out his wallet and filing through the couple bills that were inside, counting.

"What did you want?"

"Shit man, I told you, you ain't gotta buy me any food."

"Gamzeeee." Karkat nearly growled at him, casting a glare his way. "We both know it's the only real meal you fucking get in your day, I am buying you something." Gamzee simply shrugged, stuffing his hands into his back pockets. "If you don't tell me what you want, I'll just buy you what ever the fuck they have."

"Shit man, fine." Gamzee mumbled, rolling his eyes slightly as the two entered the large, empty room. It smelled of antiseptic floor cleaner, mixed with soggy day old food that had been cleaned up and what ever sludge they had made today. Gamzee let Karkat lead him over to where they could get their food, thankful that no one questioned their being early.

"Uhh.. Can we both get pizza..?" Karkat muttered, staring at it in a questioning way as it was dished out. Gamzee skipped getting anything else, though waited for Karkat to to gather up the remains of his food, before approaching the register where his friend waited. The food was quickly rung up, the school bell's obnoxious ringing echoing through the high-ceiling of the cafeteria. Within seconds, it started to fill up, Karkat and Gamzee forcing their way through bodies to get to their usual table in the back corner.

"Fucking hell, the food here sucks." Karkat grumbled around a large mouthful of pizza. Gamzee simply shrugged, taking another massive bite out of his slice, almost finished with his pathetic excuse of a lunch. He quickly polished off his slice of pizza, reaching across the table and snatching Karkat's crusts up.

"Thanks for asking shitstain." Karkat mumbled to him. Gamzee just let out a chuckle, biting into the crispy, oily bread.

"Chill out Karbro. We both know you don't eat 'em anyways." Gamzee said to him with a soft, chortling laugh. Karkat just glared at him, before his gaze darted next to Gamzee. He glanced to the side, face lighting up when he saw Tavros approaching the table. Instantly, Gamzee was on his feet and shuffling about awkwardly to move a chair out of the way.

"Hey Tavbro." Gamzee said to him with a grin, letting him roll up to the table next to him.

"Uh, hey Gamzee.." Tavros muttered softly to him, placing his tray of food on the table. Gamzee just continued to grin at him until Karkat gave him a sharp kick to his shin, giving him a glare, trying to tell him "You're looking at him like a psycho you insane fucking clown."

"Shit, Kar, the motherfu-"

"Is, uh.." Gamzee cut himself off, glancing over at Tavros. "Is your, face.. Okay?"

"Wha-" He glanced around, already having forgotten about the swollen, dark purple welt his father had given him. "Oh.. Yeah man, thanks again." He reached over and ruffled his Mohawk. He had always wanted to do that, know what his hair felt like. It was even softer than he had though, fluffy and smooth to the touch. It took quite the effort for him to pull his hand away from the thick tuft of hair that striped down his head. Tavros just flashed him a smile, before sheepishly taking a bite from his own food.

"Gamzee." Karkat caught his attention.

"Sup?"

"You uh.. What songs do you know?"

Gamzee stared at him in a confused way, one eyebrow raised in question as he waited for an explanation. Karkat looked like he was about to shove his head down into his remaining food, a loud sigh escaping his full lips.

"On the guitar, you idiot. On the fucking guitar."

"Ohhh.. Shit man, I don't think you would know them.." Gamzee muttered, pondering the thought of what songs he might have know that his friend would.

"Flatsound?" Gamzee shook his head, letting out a sigh.

"The one song I got to knowing the best.. It's this demo version of a rock song."

"Well what's it called?"

"The World Is Ugly." Gamzee said. Karkat gave him a questioning look, willing him to go on. "It's by this wicked band, My Chemical Romance.. They released a new version lately but it ain't the same song, man.. Hate that shit." Karkat just nodded to him, slowly started to peck at his food some more.

"You.. Play the, uh, guitar?"

"Hell yeah man, my bro all up and taught me before.." Gamzee's voice trailed off, smiling fading. "Before he moved his ass to Europe and went to college.." Tavros gave him a slightly worried look, nodding. "Maybe I could up and play something for a brother." Gamzee flashed him a smile, glad that he got one in return.

"Y-you know.. There's a, talent show, uh, next Friday.." Tavros muttered, taking a smile bite of the sandwich he had gotten.

"Shit man, really?" Gamzee glanced to Karkat, who just shrugged, not paying mind to the remark.

"Y-yeah.. Maybe you could, uhm.. Try out..?" Tavros asked him. "It isn't, hard.. As far as I, know at least." He said, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. Gamzee flashed him a grin, nodding.

"Well how does a brother sign up for this wicked shit man?"

"You just, sign the form they give you at the, uh office.." He said softly to Gamzee. "I could.. Take you there, once I, finish my lunch."

"Man, that would be all kinds of wicked!" Gamzee said to him, a grin splitting his face. He couldn't have been happier- He was with Tavros. He was actually talking to the person he's liked ever since he saw him. He wasn't scared of him! Grinning still, Gamzee stared down at his lap, dirty purple converse propped up on the table.

"The fuck is making you so happy." Karkat muttered to him. Gamzee just glanced up at him in all his toothy glory.

"Shit man, I just.." He groped for something to say, anything other than "Tavros isn't scared of me!".

"Just excited." Karkat cast a glance between Gamzee and Tavros, smirking slightly and shaking his head.

"I'm sure you are, man."

The rest of lunch was spent in silence, Tavros eating his food at a steady, slow pace while Karkat shifted about the lunch room talking to people. Karkat had always been fairly popular, Gamzee could name off at least three girls that liked him. With a sigh, Gamzee glanced over at Tavros with that same grin.

"So man, all about this hangin' out you wanted to be doing."

"Oh, uh, y-yeah.." Tavros muttered, wiping off his mouth with a napkin. So motherfuckin' fancy man.

"W-well.. What're you doing, tonight?"

"Shit man, I ain't ever doing anything after school." Tavros' face lit up, shedding a bit of a smile as he nodded to him.

"W-well did you, want to maybe.. Uh.. C-come over, tonight?" Gamzee nodded to him eagerly, draping an arm around his shoulders.

"Hell yeah man. I'd motherfuckin love to."

"O-ok-"

"Taaaaaaaavrossssssss" Tavros froze up slightly, smile disappearing from his face. Gamzee glanced behind him, a fairly tall, lean girl approaching the table. Dirty blonde hair, streaked and blotched with some sort of color unknown to Gamzee, fluttering and bouncing about her shoulders and middle of her back. Gamzee tensed as well, wrapping his arm tighter around his newly made friend.

"Tavrossssssss, why are you talking to the gang kid?" She said in a harsh tone, an almost overly protective and possessive tone in her voice.

"I c-can have, friends, Vriska.." Tavros muttered, glancing over his shoulder at her. She stood close to him, arms crossed over her chest, glare set on her features. "Y-you don't run m-my life."

"Yeah, spider bitch. He ain't gotta do what you tell him." Gamzee stood, standing between Tavros and Vriska, looming over her. She was probably something around 5'6'', Gamzee towering around 6'' over her. He really liked being tall sometimes. "So leave him alone."

Vriska stood her ground, glaring up at him with harsh, two-toned eyes. One was a sort of pale grey, black flecked about in it while the other was a pure, deep grey, nearly the colored blotches in her hair.

"How about you let him stand up to me, clown boy."

"How about you just fuck off, man." Gamzee inched closer, leaning down slightly so that they were at level with each other. He gave her a harsh look, eyes narrowed and snarl set on his features.

"How about you just leave my boyfriend alone." Gamzee's eyes went wide in an almost shocked way, glancing between the pair with an almost hurt look. Vriska laughed, a evil sort of grin flashing across her face at both Gamzee's reaction, as well as Tavros. He looked utterly horrified, but also happy in a way.

"Your what." Gamzee muttered, giving her a questioning, murderous look, keeping his back facing Tavros. She grinned up at him.

"My boyfriend."

"W-wait what, Vriska, wh-" The school bell rang, silencing Tavros as everyone hesitantly stood and made their way out of the cafeteria. Gamzee could feel eyes on him and Vriska, questioning glances as to why one of the toughest girls in school was fucking about with one of the scariest kid in town.

"Gamzee, what the fuck did you do this time." Karkat grumbled, grabbing his arm. He just kept glaring at Vriska, eyes harsh. She had a knowing look in her own, an intent to kill mixed with an evil, piercing ashen grey. "Gamzee, dude, c'mon. It's free period man, let's go chill outside." Karkat tried to barter with him, attempt to sidetrack him and calm him down, but Gamzee didn't budge. His fists clenched and unclenched, unsure of whether he wanted to just go curl up with his guitar again, or beat this girl to a pulp.

Without a word, Gamzee opted for not getting sent to the police station again because of his anger problems, and instead turned and left without another word. He could hear Karkat snapping at the two that were still in the cafeteria, wondering what had just happened and why Gamzee was pissed off. That he had enough going on and that he didn't need people going and fucking up one of the first happy things that had happened to him.

He started down the hallway once again, about to follow that familiar trail back to the music room. He was past mad at this point, mad at both Vriska for saying that, knowing that it would piss him off, and at himself for falling for it. Was she serious though? Was she really d-

"G-Gamzee! Gamzee, wait!" He stopped, glancing over his shoulder to find Tavros wheeling his way down the hallway towards him. He waited for the crippled boy to approach him, chest heaving just slightly as he stopped next to Gamzee. He looked up at him, frowning. "She.. I-I'd never h-heard anything ab-bout that before.." He said softly, stutter getting worse. He was worried, a caring look in his large, soft eyes as he stared up at Gamzee. Gamzee sighed, eyes dragging from the floor over to Tavros.

"It's fine, Tavbro.." He reached up a hand, resting it lightly against the top of his head, ruffling his hair slightly.

"I'm serious, she's never s-said anything, about, dating me b-before.." Gamzee smiled down at him, a small bit of hope sparked back inside of him again. After he didn't respond, Tavros started to fumble over his words once again, not wanting to keep pressing at the subject. "D-did you want to, uh, go and, get that form for the talent show?"

"That'd be wicked man." Pulling his hand gently from Tavros' hair, Gamzee stepped behind his chair.

"I-I, uh.. W-what're you doing?"

"Pushin' a motherfucker." Gamzee said, leaning over his chair and looking at Tavros, stomach pressing lightly to the top of his head. He looked funny upside down, and it made Gamzee grin again, seeing the slightest tint of dark grey on his freckled cheeks. "If that's 'aight with you."

"O-oh, uh, I don't s-see why not.."

"Then let's get this show on the road!" Gamzee said, before straightening up and starting to push Tavros through the halls. The pair was relatively quiet as they trailed their way through the school, Gamzee clambering his way around in all his lanky glory. "Man what am I gonna play.."

"Well, maybe we could, uh, figure that out w-when, you come over, tonight..?" Tavros asked softly.

"Man that'd be motherfuckin' wicked." Gamzee said to him, mind wandering. "When'd you want me to haul ass to your place?"

"Oh.. My brother, Rufioh, could pick us up after school.." Gamzee grinned down at Tavros, pausing momentarily and causing the fragile boy in front of him to turn and look at him in a curious way.

"I can't motherfuckin' wait, Tavbro."


	6. I'm Ready

A/N: Woo, another chapter. I'm really liking this fanfiction. :3 I have a lot of different plot Ideas for this. (Though I'm not really sure what ship I want to go with for it yet ghaaaaaa.) But yeah, if You guys have ship ideas, plot ideas, character ideas, anything ideas for this fanfiction, I would seriously love to hear them. I love using follower's ideas for my stories, I love making it reader participated, and I love hearing what you guys think of this! It helps me to decide what I should and shouldn't do writing wise, as well as plot and stuff. Also, I'm sorry my Rufioh-ing is probably really bad. I haven't read that update yet so I don't know too much about how he talks and stuff. :x So yeah, I'm apologizing for that in advance. Anyways, I'll hush and let you read.

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Just as Tavros had said, the form was extremely easy to fill out. Within three Minutes Gamzee had filled out his full name, what he would be doing in the show, if he had any specifics on when he would want to preform, towards the end, and if he wanted to reserve a seat or two.

"Hey man, you want me to up and motherfuckin reserve a seat for you?" He had questioned the cripple, who sat a few feet away on the phone. He glanced over at the lanky man who had a pen grasped in his hand at an awkward angle and piece of pastel green paper pressed to the office wall. He gave him a simple nod, a slight smile, before he went back to talking on the phone. Tavros' name was quickly jotted down next to Karkat's.

Once the pair had finished their School Office shenanigans, the two of them spent the rest of their study hall together talking about what they could do at Tavros' house. Offers were made of playing video games, card games, watching tv, or hanging around in the backyard. The idea of hanging out in Tavros' backyard struck Gamzee's interest the most. He'd never been in a backyard before, Karkat's small, scrunched home being too small to have one and his own living in a shitty excuse of an apartment building backing it close to impossible to have some kind of personal outdoor space that no one else could legally intrude on.

By the time three o'clock had rolled around, Gamzee was waiting out front of the school for Tavros, hands stuffed in his pockets. He had already told Karkat about his plans, who just smiled, patted his shoulder and told him that he was happy for him before he clambered onto the bus and was gone.

"Maybe I should go get a brother.." Gamzee muttered, gazing at the front doors of the school. Teenagers were still pouring out of the building, eager to get home and away from the hellhole they called a school. Just before he was about to go looking for Tavros, a familiar looking tuft of fluffy hair could be seen over the shoulder of a freshman. Gamzee grinned instantly, before making his way over to Tavros as he headed for the ramp. "Hey Tavbro."

"Hey, Gamzee." Tavros gave him a shy smile in return, glancing back at Gamzee as he grasped the handles of his wheelchair lightly and started to ease him down the ramp. "T-thanks.."

"Anytime man."

"Are you.. Ready to, go?" Tavros questioned the tall man, glancing around the parking lot for his older brother. He could be seen leaning against the hood of his car, two-toned hair glistening in the bright sunlight as Rufioh talked to a few people that had stopped. Tavros waved his arm, catching his brother's eye, who gave him a wave in return and a quick goodbye to his companions.

"Hey Kiddo." Rufioh greeted him, flashing him a smile before his gaze jumped to Gamzee. "Who's this?"

"Gamzee Makara." Rufioh gave him a skeptical look, eyes narrowed as if he had seen him somewhere before. "Where d'you usually sit Tavbro?"

"Oh, I, uh.." Tavros looked between Rufioh and the car. "I don't mind.." Gamzee just smiled down at him, before shifting towards the back door and opening it. Before anyone could protest, Tavros had been scooped up into his arms and was being gingerly placed into the back of the car.

"You can put his chair in the trunk.." Rufioh said to him, hesitantly opening the trunk of the car as Gamzee fumbled about with the contraption in an attempt to get it to fold up. Once it was, he carefully placed it into the trunk of Rufioh's car, and climbed into the back seat next to Tav. An arm was slung around Tavros' shoulders in a casual, nonchalant manner, Gamzee thankful nobody said anything as the three made their way to Tavros' house 10 minutes away.

"What made a brother wanna come here when you're making a wicked residence so far away?" Rufioh gave him an odd look, confused either by Gamzee's jumbled, confusing riddle like sentences, or the fact that it wasn't really that far away. Gamzee simply ignored it, glancing down at Tavros. He had shifted slightly, leaning just barely against Gamzee's bony excuse of a torso.

"Oh.. Well, it was the closest, uh, High school.." Tavros muttered, looking down at the folded fingers in his lap. He rubbed his thumbs together in an almost anxious way, not shifting his eyes away from his hands.

"You okay Tavbro?"

"Mmmhm.." He hummed softly. Gamzee raised an eyebrow, casting his gaze upward to find Rufioh looking at his brother curiously through the rear view mirror. "Hey, Rufioh, did I.. Uh.."

"Sup Tav?" He questioned him, casting him one last curious glance in the mirror before he focused on the road once more. They were almost there, winding their way through a small suburban area, houses lining each side of the street in three different, multicolored variations.

"M-my room, was it.."

"Dude, your room is fine."

"Yeah Tavbro, I bet it's bitchtits." Gamzee grinned down at him, giving his shoulder a bit of a rub, internally ecstatic that he was actually going to Tavros' house. That he was sitting next to him in the car, that their bodies were so close and his arms was draped so hap hazardously around his shoulders. Thoughts of trying to take things a bit further skipped and danced through his mind, the idea of maybe giving him a peck on the cheek, holding his hand if they were alone in his room. Innocent, childish ideas of what Gamzee might want to do to show Tavros he cared.

"I.. Uh.. W-well, it isn't.." Tavros muttered, his cheeks darkening out of embarrassment. Gamzee just grinned down at him for a moment, before his eyes shifted to out the window. He hadn't gone to this part of the city that much, wasn't accustom to the nicely mowed lawns and daily cared to gardens, the tranquility that seemed to follow a life in the suburbs.

"Yo', we're here." Rufioh said to the pair in the back as the car jerked to a stop. Gamzee was the first to fling the door open, staring at the house before them. It was fairly large, the bricks of it's exterior a dapple of grey to Gamzee's eyes. He grinned up at it, before he turned back around and lifted Tavros out of the car.

"Thanks, Gamzee.." He said softly as Gamzee held him bridal style against his chest. "I.. W-wait, where are you, going?"

"Backyard brother, said we could all up and get our chill on out there earlier."

"I.. Y-yeah, I did, but my, uh, chair..?" He questioned him, glancing back at Rufioh as he pulled the contraption from the trunk.

"Man, you don't wanna just lay all up in the grass, chill out n watch the sky? I'd even carry a brother around." Gamzee stated, turning his head up and looking the sky and clouds and even the sun. "Don't see too much of it in the city, ain't nothing but smog and all sorts of nasty.." He muttered. The sky was a lighter color, and even though he couldn't tell the real shade, he knew it was a much more vibrant than the steel grey of the city's sky.

"I.. O-okay.." That was all Gamzee needed to hear to start making his way around the side of the house and towards the backyard. He peered around the brick's sharp edge, indigo eyes darting back and forth across the green of the still thriving grass, the large tree over in the far corner of the yard, covered in converting leaves of various different shapes and shades of grey near a fence. A swing hung from a high, thick branch, and Gamzee glanced down at Tavros curiously.

"You ever used the swing?" A sad look masked Tavros' face and Gamzee frowned, looking down at him in a worried way. "S'up Tav?"

"I just.. I haven't, used it since I became a... Cripple.." He spoke in a hushed tone, his words trembling just slightly. Gamzee quickly walked over to the small piece of wood, two yellow cords of rope knotted into the corners, and placed Tavros on it. He looked up at Gamzee in a confused, yet still slightly happy way.

"Hang on tight, man." Gamzee said to him, making his way behind him and pressing his hands to his back lightly. "You'll be flying in no time." The grin that broke out across Tavros' face when flying was mentioned was enough to make Gamzee feel like he'd burst from happiness. He made him smile, grin even. He didn't scare him away, didn't hurt him- He made him smile. Gamzee gave his back another light push, this time Tavros was propelled a little farther forward. That grin remained on his face, only growing in size the higher he went.

"Rufioh! Who is that?"

"Some kid Tav met at school, called me over about if he could come over.." Rufioh leaned against the counter inside of the small kitchen, eyes trained on the two figures grinning in the backyard.

"Huh.. Well he seems nice." His mother smiled over her shoulder at Rufioh, though he didn't catch it. He had heard about Gamzee, heard about his home life, his issues with the gang, his almost never being at school, though he didn't know anything other that minor details and that he wasn't a good kid. He didn't like it, he didn't like the idea of Tavros getting involved in that kind of thing. He was afraid of Tavros getting caught with Gamzee around the Gang, getting hurt in some way, starting to ditch school with him, starting to get into drugs.. Tavros wasn't the kind of kid who should do drugs, he had a promising future ahead of him.

"Never seen him so happy.." Rufioh glanced up at his mother as she spoke. She had stopped stirring the food on the stove, now smiling out the back porch's window at the pair. They had stopped swinging now, Tavros grinning over his shoulder at Gamzee as he scooped him up out of the swing. An arm supported his thighs, just above the knees, just above where his leg's stopped, and the lanky teen was grinning too. He spun Tavros around a few times, their laughter echoing into the house as Gamzee stumbled his way across the lawn in a twirling frenzy until the two toppled. Gamzee dropped to his back, Tavros partway on his chest, and both were silent for a moment. Only a moment though, even more hysterical laughter followed, Tavros rolling onto his back next to Gamzee, eyes squeezed shut and cheeks pusher back as far as his ears.

Rufioh let out a soft sigh as he watched the pair. Tavros did seem happy, Rufioh couldn't even remember the last time he had seen his younger brother smile like that after the accident that cost him his legs. After a few more moments, Rufioh stood from the counter and, with out a word, he exited the kitchen and clambered his way up the stairs and into his room.

"Ey Tav." Gamzee glanced over at Tavros, who's eyes were transfixed on the sky.

"Yeah, Gamzee?"

"What color's the sky?" Tavros looked at him for a moment, before he let out a chuckle and turned his face back upward.

"It's blue, what else would it be?" Gamzee's grin faltered slightly, and he looked hard at the sky.

"What does blue look like..?" He asked in a hushed tone, his smile completely gone now. He had a sort of innocents to his words, made up entirely of curiosity, longing, desperation and a sense of tragedy as he felt like he would never know, never experience that foreign word called "Color". Tavros glanced over at him, eyebrows knitted together and a slight frown on his face.

"You're.. Colorblind, aren't you.." He muttered softly. Gamzee just nodded to him, indigo eyes still sstuck on the sky above them.

"It's.. Cold. Cold, and.. Still, uh, soft.." Tavros said softly, his head turned back to it's previous position. "It flows, and chills, but.. I-it, is never too harsh.." Gamzee grinned over at Tavros, thinking over the words he had just heard, muttering the word "Blue" and "Cold" a few times subconsciously.

"Orange?"

"Hmm.." Tavros thought for a second, lower lip clenched innocently in between his teeth as he pondered how to describe the color. "Orange.. It's, uh.. Warm.. B-but not, hot, just warm.. L-like a, small flame.. Gentle looking but still, hot and, d-dangerous, on the inside... Also, kind of, sweet? and subtle.." He muttered softly. "It's usually, in the little things.. It, uh.. It's, smooth, but also.. Not?" Gamzee chuckled.

"Kinda like you?" Both of them laughed, Tavros' cheeks darkening once again as they spoke.

"I, uh, guess?" Tavros smiled sightly.

"Purple." Gamzee said confidently, a hand gesturing down towards his worn, battered converse, to whom he had been told were purple before. Tavros chuckled, before he paused.

"Purple is.. Kind of warm, but also, kind of, cold? Like a mix of, both.." Tavros glanced at Gamzee, before studying his shoes. "Hmm.. It's kind of a, misunderstood color."

"Funny thing for a color to up and be makin' itself to be, man."

"Well, it can appear... Dark, and kind of.. Sick, or ill, sometimes.. But it's really, uh, a nice color.. Not what it, seems to be." Tavros smiled over at Gamzee, eyes soft and large and almost understanding as they looked over his face. "Kind of, uh.. Like you."

"Like me?" They both chuckled, that grin returning to both of their faces, content and smiling up towards the sky.

The pair continued to talk about colors, the names of each getting more and more obscure as they started to run out of things to describe. Yellow, now thought of as warm and bright, glowing and feathery to the touch, but also colder, harsher, dimmed and diluted, two toned but still smooth and silky like honey. Red, burning hot, angry and rough around the edges but still containing a bright, burning interior, Gamzee decided Red would be represented by Karkat. Green, so many shades of green. Calming, exciting, vibrant and neon with cruel intentions and a hint of ice. Gamzee was so mesmerized by all of this new information, this new way of viewing the world, he felt giddy.

"Aquamarine."

"I.. Uh.. Wow. That's, really specific.." Gamzee just chuckled, Tavros joining in before he started to work that magic with his words.

"Warm, even though it's a, uh, blue.. But also, icy sometimes? I guess.. Uhm.. Beachy."

"Beachy." Gamzee said to him, glancing over at him with an eyebrow raised. He was about to speak, when a fluttery, kind voice drifted across the back yard from the kitchen.

"Dinner's ready boys!"

"O-okay, coming!" Tavros said, shifting so that he was resting on his elbows.

"Okay ma'am!" Gamzee said to her, giving her a wave before he sat up, guessing that the kind looking woman with a frizzled mass of black hair was Tavros' mother. He stretched slightly, before he stood up, brushed himself off quickly, and then lifted Tavros off of the ground. He was careful as he carried him bridal style into the house, glancing around the interior before overlooking the table. Rufioh already sat at it, a steaming plate of spaghetti sitting in front of him. He twirled it mindlessly around his fork, only glancing up when Gamzee questioned him.

"Where should I be sittin', bro?"

"Anywhere.." He said, his voice soft, eyes distant like he was deep in thought. Gamzee just shrugged, before setting Tavros down across from his brother. He quickly dropped down next to Tavros, who was slouching slightly in his chair as he toyed with his hands like he had before. Before conversation could be started, two figures quickly emerged from the kitchen, four plates of steaming food being placed around the table, in front of Gamzee and Tavros included.

"Thanks." Gamzee flashed Tavros' mom a grin as she put his food down, her own plate being set at her end of the table. Glancing to the side, a tall, muscular, and rather intimidating man was sitting at the other end of the table. Fork in his hand, already starting to bury itself in the food.

At first, Gamzee was scared of the man, but once conversation had been struck, it was obvious Tavros' father was good at talking. He was charming, to say the least. Knowing what to say and how to say it to keep people interested in the topic, even throwing in a few jokes that had the whole family and Gamzee laughing loudly. It wasn't until Gamzee's home life was brought up that the laughing stopped.

"So Gamzee, what's it like over at your house?" His mother asked him with a smile. Gamzee frowned slightly, setting his fork down lightly next to his half eaten plate of spaghetti as he thought over what should and shouldn't be said.

"It's.. Interesting, I guess.." He muttered softly. All the smiles had vanished from the table, Rufioh's eyes boring into him and making Gamzee feel slightly nervous as he continued. "My mom passed away when I was younger.. Brother, Kurloz, all up and kept everything goin, took over for her, y'know?" Gamzee sighed, leaning back in his chair, eyes on his lap. "Ended up gettin' hauled over to Europe when I was thirteen, got a scholarship, been goin' to art school.. Just fell apart after that.."

"Noticed you had a bruise on your cheek, son." Tavros' father said to Gamzee, eyes hard but also concerned. "What happened?"

"Slipped in the shower." Gamzee muttered out instantly, ice water seeming to shoot through his veins at the question. Before anyone could respond, Tavros managed to pipe up, glancing over at Gamzee with a slight smile on his face.

"Hey, uh.. You play the, guitar, right?"

"Yeah, Tavbro." Tavros glanced at his brother, who slowly dragged his gaze from Gamzee to Tavros, giving him a questioning look.

"Could Gamzee, uh.. Borrow your, guitar?" Tavros smiled slightly, glancing over at Gamzee. He thought his heart was going to melt at the look on his face, the tone in his voice. "Maybe he'd, play something?" Gamzee just stared at Tavros as he looked up at Gamzee, eyes wide and wanting to hear his voice and the sound of his spindly fingers tugging at guitar strings. Gamzee nodded slightly, face hot. Both Tavros' mom and dad laughed at Gamzee's reaction as he stared down at Tavros, who just grinned up at him.

"I'll go get it." Rufioh said, before he stood from the table. The rest of the family migrated into the living room, Gamzee slumping down into the Sofa, Tavros sinking into the soft cushions next to him while his mother, father, and older brother all spread out around it in various chairs, or on the floor.

"Alright uh.." Gamzee thought over what he should play, lightly plucking at the strings of Rufioh's guitar once he had handed it over to him. Tuning it slightly, thankful that Rufioh didn't protest, he thought over his song choices. The World Is Ugly was definitely out of the question, the last thing he wanted was to have another break down, he didn't want anyone, let alone Tavros or his family, to see that. Happy. Happy and cheery and.. Colorful. Gamzee smiled at his mental use of the word as he ran over a few chords.

"Anyone know the band Imagine Dragons?"

"I've.. I've heard of, them." Tavros said softly. Gamzee flashed him a smile before he started to lightly tap out a beat on the guitar.

"Well, this one's pretty mo-" He cut himself off. No swearing, Gamzee, you know better. "Pretty damn cheery." Everyone smiled slightly at his near slip. "S'called "On Top Of The World", and it goes like this." He started to strum, whistling out the same tune, getting use to preforming, before he started to sing.

"If you love somebody, better tell them while they're here 'cause, they just might run away from you." He use to sing on the street corners, especially if he needed money. He would get a fair amount, enough to buy himself a good meal from a local, cheap cafe, as well as have a few dollars and coins left over for later dates. "You'll never know quite when, but, then again it just depends on, how long of time if left for you."

"I've had the highest mountains, I've had the deepest river, you can have it all but life keeps movin'. " He paused, hands stilled. "Take it in but don't look down..."

"I'm on top of the world, yeah, I'm on top of the world, yeah, been waitin' on this for a while now. Payin' my dues to the dirt." He grinned as he sang, eyes closed as he stroked the chords of the guitar, let the words flow freely from his mouth. "I've been waitin' to smile, yeah, been holdin' it in for a while, yeah. Take you with me if I can, I've been dreaming of this since a child. Yeah, I'm on top of the world."

"I've tried to cut these corners, tried to take the easy way out, I kept on falling short of somethin'." This song fit him. He understood it, most of it at least. He could feel the words emotionally, connect them to something he had experienced. " I could've gave up then but, then again I couldn't have cause, I've traveled all this way for something." He grinned down at Tavros, hand stilled once more. "Take it in but don't look down.."

"I'm on top of the world, yeah, I'm on top of the world, yeah. Been waitin' on this for a while now. Been payin' my dues to the dirt. I've been waitin' to smile, yeah, been holdin' it in for a while, yeah. I'd take you with me if I could, 'cause I've been dreamin' of this since a child. I'm on top of the world." He didn't break eye contact with Tavros as he sang, he could feel his cheeks starting to grow warm. Tavros giggled softly, chortling and grinning up at him as he sang, his mother or father sometimes joining in on the laughter. Gamzee let his hands still as he tapped his foot against the floor, rapped his fingers gently against the exterior of the guitar, the volume of his voice dropped a fair bit deeper. "Woah, woah, oh oh oh, oh oh oh" He repeated the tune over a few times, Tavros joining in even on the chorus as he repeated it once more.

"And I know it's hard when you've fallen down, and it's a long way up when you've hit the ground, but get up now, get up, yeah get up now." The voices were quiet as he sang the new strand of lyrics, though everyone clapped and hummed along, everyone joining in in some way now. Even Rufioh was smiling, clapping, joining his parents and brother in singing the chorus with Tavros' newly made friend.

"I'm on top of the world, yeah, I'm on top of the world, yeah. Been waitin' on this for a while now. Been payin' my dues to the dirt. I've been waitin' to smile, yeah, been holdin' it in for a while, yeah. I'd take you with me if I could, 'cause I've been dreamin' of this since a child. I'm on top of the world." Gamzee grinned, tapping out the same beat he had begun the song with before he stopped. Everyone clapped and cheered around them, grins on their faces. Gamzee shied away, head lowered but still smiling bright as ever.

For once, he felt accepted. He felt like people wanted to be around him, wanted to get to know him, wanted to see past his misunderstood exterior. He felt purple, purple as the shoes on his feet, worn and scuffed but still trekking on. Still useful, still needed for something. Gamzee set Rufioh's guitar on the sofa next to him, smiling and leaning back in his seat, feeling content as everyone talked about various things, the talent show on Friday included. Gamzee felt so content, he dared to wrap an arm around Tavros' shoulders as he had before when they were in the car, grin still wide as ever on his face.

Maybe being Purple wasn't so bad after all.


	7. I Am Ready, I Am

_**A/N: WARNINGS FOR NON-DESCRIPTIVE NON-CON AS WELL AS SOME VIOLENCE AND ABUSE. **_

_**Sorry, I don't want to get eaten out about that, so if you start to feel uncomfortable, stop reading please. **_

_**Finally posting this! Yeah! Sorry if there's some mistakes, its late and I don't have the time to read through it and fix anything. Reviews are beautiful things and I love them. :3**_

_**Enjoy~**_

* * *

The sun had long since set by the time Gamzee had stopped playing song after song for Tavros and his family, grinning and fooling around in a light hearted manner. Gamzee's favorite moment of the night so far, other than when he was in the backyard with Tavros, was when he had been playing "Hurt" by Johnny Cash. He was part way through the song, the darkening and frowning faces of Tavros' family worrying him. In a panic, he suddenly broke out into a faster paced tune. Tavros just about screamed when Gamzee had started to sing the Pokemon theme-song, everyone else laughing and singing along. The grin Tavros had on was the best part, the way he laughed so hard that he nearly started to cry. Gamzee managed to wipe a stray tear off his cheek with his thumb, smiling down at him as he did so.

"Sooo, "Summi" was it?" Tavros' father, Simon, perked up at the use of his nickname, eyes flickering over to Gamzee. He made a soft humming noise in the back of his throat, acknowledging that he heard Gamzee. "Where'd you get that kinda nickname?" Simon chuckled, grinning over at Rufioh.

"When Rufioh was little and just learning how to speak, he could never say "Simon" right. " Rufioh sent a glare his fathers way, though it quickly turned into a grin and a chuckle when Simon ruffled his son's streaked hair. "Would always come out "Summi". It just stuck, right kiddo?" Everyone chuckled, Rufioh nodding in agreement before the topic of their conversation slowly began to drift about to things like school, as well as the talent show and the promise of the family going to see him preform.

Gamzee jumped when a harsh vibration went down his leg. He quickly shoved his hand into his pocket, digging through his lighter, gum wrappers, keys, and finally to his phone. He pulled it out, feeling himself go numb as he read over the number, the contact name, looked at the time and remembered what he had said that morning to Makarin before he absconded the fuck out of the apartment. He was on his feet in seconds, a rambled excuse of having to take the call escaping his lips and causing Tavros to look at him in a worried way, before he was slipping onto the back porch.

Once he was out of ear shot, he answered the phone, having barely raised it to his ear when a loud voice started to snap at him through the small device.

"Gamzee Makara, where the motherfuck are you."

"I-I"

"Answer me you lil' shit, you said you'd be home after school."

"I went to a friends house.."

"That son of a bitch Karkat is going to pay one day so help me god. First he just comes barging into the apartment, now you're just going over to his motherfucking house when ever the fuck you feel like it without saying jack shit to me."

"I'm not at Karkat's."

"Since when do you have any other friends?" Gamzee winced slightly at the slurred remark. His father was right though, Tavros was pretty much Gamzee's only other friend, and he hoped he was one that would stay, if not become something more. Gamzee was thankful enough that he wasn't afraid of him like everyone else seemed to be, but Gamzee was scared, so scared, that something would happen. That he would find out about something, his past, his home life, his problems, anything.

"I met someone today.." His father seemed to growl, before there was the sound of liquid sloshing about in a glass bottle. "You're drinking."

It hadn't been anything close to a question. It was a straight forward statement, Gamzee only greeted with more sounds of what he would guess was either Brandy or Vodka sloshing about in it's bottle as his father drank it straight. He only did this on nights when he was feeling extremely low, extremely terrible. When Makarin felt terrible, he made sure Gamzee felt just the same, if not worse.

"You little shit, you need to get the fuck home right now." Gamzee winced, frowning. It would take him half an hour at least to walk back, if he could find his way.

"It'll be at least a half hour walk back.."

"Then start running." The phone went dead after that. Gamzee stood on the porch for a few moments after, still a statue, grimacing at the thought of what the night would most likely hold. He felt small and scared, he didn't want to go home, though he knew his punishments would just get worse and worse the later it took for him to get back to the shitty apartment. Hesitantly, he made his way back into the Nitram's house, and headed for the living room.

"You, okay?" Tavros asked Gamzee as he entered the room once more. He had a worried look on his face, making Gamzee frown as he flopped back down next to him. Gamzee just nodded slightly to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and pulling him close to him. He could tell Tavros was blushing, but he didn't really care. He was too deep in thought, his motions barely on the edge of his subconscious as he rubbed Tav's shoulder.

"My dad called.." He mumbled in a dull tone. "Sorry man, but I gotta head."

"Aww, okay.." Tavros muttered.

"Oh yeah, man.." Simon muttered, eyes watching a watch that was wrapped around his wrist. "You have to do your homework." He glanced at Tavros, who let out a slightly disgusted groan. "Here, I'll give you a ride Gamzee."

"You don't have to, I don't want to be a problem."

"It's not a problem." Simon gave him a smile, and Gamzee just gave him a half smile back out of gratitude. Gamzee glanced over at Tavros, who still sat tucked under his arm, leaning against his torso lightly. Giving his shoulder one last squeeze and a rub, Gamzee started to stand up.

"Maybe we could get our chill on again some time Tavbro." Tavros smiled up at him, nodding.

"I would like that." Gamzee managed a grin for him. He sounded confident when he spoke, determined, as if his heart was set on the matter. A brief hug was shared between the two, Gamzee pressing his face into Tavros' shoulder, eyes squeezed shut as he savored the feeling. Once he had straightened, Gamzee waved at Tavros, Rufioh, and their mother before he followed Simon out of the house and into a fair sized garage.

The car ride was silent, the only words being exchanged being Gamzee's address, and his thanks for the ride and letting him stay over. Simon just grinned at him, nodding and telling him he was welcome any time. Gamzee quickly shut the door, and turned to face the apartment building, feet heavy as he approached the door.

"I like him." Tavros' mother stated once Gamzee and Simon had disappeared out the door. Tavros just glanced up at her, nodding slightly in agreement. He had a book in his hands, an English assignment. He glanced over at his mother in a curious was as she sat down next to him, a playful smirk on her lips as she gazed at him.

"Did you, uh.. Need something?" Tavros asked his mom. He closed the book hesitantly, shifting to the best of his ability to face his mom. She grinned at him, making herself more comfortable by folding a leg under herself.

"I think he likes you." She said to him. Tavros started to blush, eyes wide.

"Mom!"

"What?" She looked slightly taken aback, shooting him a teasing glare. "It's obvious, I mean c'mon."

"How was it, o-obvious?!" Tavros snapped at her, face hot with embarrassment.

"He had his arm around you so much, for one. Second, just the way he would look at you." Tavros raised an eyebrow at her, curious now.

"The way, he looked at, me? I didn't n-notice.. Anything different." Tavros muttered at her, folding his arms.

"When he looked at you, he had this.. Expression." Tavros rolled his eyes. "Like he would do anything you asked him to. He would just light up whenever you so much as smiled at him." Tavros frowned slightly, sighing. "He seemed to like wrapping his arm around you to."

"Mom, you already s-said, that.. We're, just friends.." Tavros muttered, glancing away, cheeks burning hot as he glanced down at the floor. His mother chuckled lightly, a soft chortle as she reached a hand over and grasped his shoulder gently.

"I know Tavvy.." She said softly, smiling at him. "But, if you do like him.. There isn't anything wrong with that, okay?"

"Mom!"

"What? I'm just saying, love is love." Tavros glanced up at her, just barely turning his head, peering at her with wide, chocolate brown eyes. "If you like him, then there is no problem with that, okay? I'm still going to love you just as much, so is your father, and Rufioh." There was a pause, Tavros about to say something though his mother cut him off. "Nepeta would be so happy if she heard about this."

"D-DON'T YOU SAY, A WORD, TO N-NEPETA." He jumped, full on yelling at his mother in a panicked voice. "I-I-I WOULD N-NEVER HEAR, THE END OF I-IT." His mother laughed, shaking her head.

"Don't worry sweet heart, I won't tell Nepeta."

"I.. Thanks, Mom.." Tavros smiled at his mom, sighing slightly as he did so. She gave him a quick peck on the temple before she stood up.

"No problem. If you need anything just say, okay?" Tavros nodded, watching his mom as she walked out of the living room before he smiled to himself. He would probably never admit it, but he had really liked Gamzee. Sure, he seemed scary at first, but he was just a gentle giant. He was kind, one of the kindest people Tavros knew other than his family members and Nepeta. Gamzee was strong, but delicate with him, doing things for him and trying to make him smile all the time. Tavros smiled as he began to read his book once again, though his mind wandered slowly back to the tall, lanky teenager that had been over today.

Maybe he wasn't as bad a person as people thought after all.

"D-dad..?" Gamzee called into the apartment. It was dark, though it always seemed to be that way. The curtains always remained drawn, only a stray lamp was lit, giving the room just enough light to walk around, though injured toes were more than likely. When Gamzee got no response, he started forward once again, kicking the door shut. He winced when it closed with a bit or of a slam than intended. He could hear feet thumping across the hard apartment floor, a stumble and drag in the steps. His father was soon looming in the small hallway, a deep glare set on his features and a half empty bottle of vodka grasped by the neck in his hand. His body was bare, a sickly pale color from barely ever leaving the dark house, the only article of clothing covering him being a pair of loose boxers.

"M'home.." Gamzee nearly whispered, his body locking up as he stared at his father. In any other situation, he would have avoided saying the blatantly obvious, but he could barely think right now. He father looked like he had long since fallen off of that cliff of anger he tended to lean over when he drank. Now he was just spiraling downward. He stepped closer, slinking out of the darkened hallway.

"I noticed." Gamzee started to take an instinctive step back towards the door, his only non-fatal escape. There was the balcony, though he would have preferred to live through the night, and instead started to reach out behind him for the door handle. His father saw this though, and suddenly he was dashing forward, footsteps uneven, causing him to stumble, but he didn't drop. Gamzee was nothing more than a deer in the head lights as his father charged him, only able to react when a hand was buried in his knotted hair. He hissed at the sharp tug that followed, his father lifting him up onto his toes so their eyes could meet, forehead pressed against his.

"You've got some hell to pay, kiddo." Makarin let off a wide grin, the grip on Gamzee's hair tighten to the point of watering eyes. Makarin's breath was rancid, lathered with the scent of alcohol to the point of nausea. Gamzee let out a soft whimper, his father starting to back away towards the hallway once again on shaking limbs to the bedroom. His jerking steps and stumbles put more strain on Gamzee's hair, and he let out a choked sob, partially out of fear as well as pain. The same routine played out before Gamzee as it always did, though this time it was a bit more violent.

Makarin's hands were hardly anything but gentle as he unceremoniously tore Gamzee's shirt over his head. Gamzee was acting different too though. He kept thinking of Tavros, of what he would think of Gamzee's not even trying to fight back, of his just letting it happen and then curling up in a ball and wishing for death after. He didn't want Tavros to know that he just didn't try to stop it, not because he didn't want it but because he just felt he couldn't. He lashed out, fists clenched as they flew at his father, one blow landing square on his jaw. He was stunned for a second, stumbling back slightly and crashing into the door, slamming it shut and nearly blacking out the room, give the small bedside light that was just dim enough for sight. Gamzee swallowed hard, throat dry as he watched his father regretting his actions.

There was the sound of shattering glass, and before anything could be done, Gamzee was slumping down onto the floor. Seering pain was the only thing he found he could focus on, not even realizing the loud scream that ripped through his lungs. His eyes watered, his hands rushing up to meet his face, feel the heat of blood as it dripped over his skin, the burn of the tears dragged across his face. His body shook all over, not coming close to protesting as Makarin grasped Gamzee under his arms, pulling him up off the floor and shoving him onto the bed.

The rest of the night was a blur to Gamzee. The colors were gone now, there were no blues or reds or yellows. He didn't feel purple, not in the way he liked at least. He felt black and white. Monotone, dull, colorless as his face was pressed harder into the mattress. The sheets were a near black to both Makarin and Gamzee, the blood from three cuts dragging along his face being reopened every time Gamzee's face was pressed down into the mattress, the swaying motions of his body rubbing and tearing them open. He felt light headed and cold, his body trembling as he tried to will it all away.

He could feel the heat of his father leaning against his back, surrounding him, engulfing him, devouring him as it violated and ripped and tore Gamzee apart. He'd mutter little words, little degrading phrases, though they tended to tone down in offensive the closer his father got. Tonight, he was ruthless with his words.

"What would Karkat say if he could see you now.." He had hissed into Gamzee's ear. He let out a choked sob, trying to hide his face with his arms and block out his father. "What would he say if he saw just how much of a little slut you are. " He laughed at that, at the way Gamzee yelled in protest and tried to squirm, tried to tell him he isn't a slut, he doesn't want this. "He'd be so motherfucking DISGUSTED with you." The grip on his hair tightened, his face once again being pressed into the sheets. It almost felt like Makarin was deliberately rubbing his face against them this time, wanting to see the bloodshed, the tears and hear the pained groans.

Gamzee kept saying sorry in his mind. Saying sorry to Karkat for being such a terrible excuse of a best friend. Sorry to Tavros for not trying to fight back, for letting himself be violated, become this disgusting. Sorry to his mom for not keeping things together after she had died and Kurloz wasn't there to take her place. Sorry for letting things fall apart. Sorry for being him.

Gamzee managed a glance over his shoulder when the bed's shaking frame stilled, the weight removed from his back, the hand from his hair. The was a muffled groan, something hot dripping onto his back. He felt nauseous, chest heaving as he hesitantly lowered himself off of his elbows and knees and fully laid against the bed. He turned his face out of the mattress, wincing when the sticky, darkened cloth stuck to his cuts. There was a slight laugh from his father, the sound of feet stumbling across the floor and the sound of a door knob turning.

"Have I broken you yet, Gamzee?" He didn't reply. He just stared at the wall, back of his had turned towards his father. He didn't dare move until he heard the shower turn on, that was his sign that he had close to a half hour to either lock himself in his room, or leave the apartment entirely unless he wanted to face the risk of a round two. Forcing himself off of the bed, he grimaced down at his body. He was battered and bruise, blood smeared across his chest from the sheets and what had dripped down off of his chin and neck. In his haste to leave, he quickly grabbed the edge of the bed sheets, wiping down his body with the clean cloth the best he could before he pulled his clothes back on. He had his phone out as he exited the room, dialing that familiar number almost subconsciously as he made his way for the apartment door.

"G-Gamzee..? What the actual fuck man, it's like two in the morning.." Words started to circle in his head, a knot building in his throat. He closed the door to the apartment, starting down the hall as a choked sob escaped his mouth. "Gamzee? Dude, are you crying?" Another sob, this one louder, less of an attempt being made to stop it, hold it back.

"I need your motherfuckin' help man, I need a place to stay.." Gamzee gasped to Karkat. He could hear a soft rustle of fabric, the squeak of a mattress.

"Yeah, what the fuck happened?" Karkat asked him, worry in his voice.

"I.." He stopped, both verbally and physically. He couldn't tell Karkat what just happened. He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to, really. A thought instantly popped into his head- An excuse. "I ran into some people man.." Gamzee muttered softly.

"Gamzee what the shit were you doing out late again?!" Karkat snapped at him. Another hiccuping sob left Gamzee and Karkat instantly toned his voice down. "How bad are you hurt?"

"Getting my bleed on everywhere, fuckin' face is torn up."

"We need to get you to the hospital, I'm coming ov-"

"NO." There was silence between the two, Gamzee starting to limp his way down the rest of the hall once again, headed for the stair well. "I-I just need some motherfuckin' bandages man.." Karkat sounded like he was about to protest, until a soft sigh filled the gap between them.

"Okay.." Karkat muttered to him softly.

"I'll be there soon man, I'm not far.." Karkat just hummed softly to him in response, another deep sigh echoing through the phone line.

"You want me to stay on the line while you get here?" Gamzee was exiting the building now, shivering slightly as he started down the side walk as fast as he could go.

"No, I think I'll be motherfuckin' fine.." Gamzee muttered, rounding a corner. "I'll see you in a few best friend."

"See you soon Gamz.." Karkat muttered back to him, a worried tone in his voice. Gamzee ended the call after that, before pocketing his phone and slowly slipping his way through the streets along that same familiar path. His body was shaking, he felt light headed and like he was going to faint at any second by the time he ended up at Karkat's doorstep. He leaned against anything possible as he knocked on the door, greeted by a worry-struck Karkat. He looked like he was going to cry when he saw Gamzee's face, the state he was in.

Gamzee was quickly helped inside of the house, Karkat's arms wrapped around him as he lead him through the house to his bathroom. He was sat on the edge of the tub, head dizzy as he braced himself against the edge of it. He thought he was either going to start to sob, vomit, or pass out when he saw his reflection in the mirror across from him.

Blood was crusted all over him, seeping from three large gashes that ran across his face. Shards of glass were obvious in a few places, jutting out of his skin like pieces of ice, glistening in the fluorescent bathroom lights. His eyes were dark, worn, scared and wide. His lip was split, his eye swollen. He could feel himself start to shake as he stared at himself in the mirror, eyes watering. Karkat glanced up at him in the mirror, staring at him in an almost pitying way when he saw his expression, the way he was shaking.

"G-gamzee?" He asked in a soft voice, turning to face him. "You okay?" Gamzee shook his head, a tear rolling down his cheek. It stung as it seeped into a cut, and he winced. Karkat engulfed him in a hug in seconds, pressing his chin to his shoulder. Gamzee was hesitant to return it at first, but was soon clinging to Karkat, sobbing and whimpering, sputtering up a made up tale as an excuse.

"M-my dad was d-drinking an' he was yellin' at me n shit.. I l-left an, an I ran into some motherfuckers in the st-streets.." Karkat shooshed him, stroking his hair out of his face and rubbing his back. After ten minutes of this, Gamzee had managed to calm himself down to the point of letting go of Karkat and letting him clean up his wounds.

"You're going to be okay.." Karkat told him softly an hour and a half later, gauze now wrapped around his face, obscuring the vision in one of his eyes. "All done.." Karkat muttered. Gamzee sighed, before he stood and let Karkat lead him into his room. He let Gamzee stay in his bed with him that night, Gamzee for once being thankful to have some kind of contact.

Even though he was tired as ever, Gamzee found it hard to fall asleep. His mind was swimming in the words his father had said, and he found himself pressing his bandaged face deeper into Karkat's shoulder, fighting tears back. He wished he could be at Tav's again, laying in the backyard watching the skies and naming off every color they could think of. Laughing and occasionally getting up to push Tavros' on the swing, trail into the house for dinner, then migrate to the backyard. Play the guitar, watch the stars and name constellations, be together. That was what he wanted right now, to be with him.

He had a feeling that wouldn't happen though, dwelling at the back of his mind as he slowly drifted into a black, dreamless sleep.


	8. Taffy Stuck and Tongue Tied

There was a loud beeping, the shifting of blankets and a body. Gamzee let out a grunt, wrapping an arm tighter around his companion, shrinking into the bed and away from the early morning chill. He could hear the figure below him let out an irritated grunt before there was more shifting, hands prying at Gamzee's arm. He let out a soft hiss as a bruise was brushed, arm recoiling instinctively as he released Karkat.

"Jeez Gamzee.." Karkat muttered softly, letting out a huff as he leaned over his still half-unconscious friend to turn off the alarm he had set. The body below Karkat seemed to relax once the obnoxious beeping was silenced, shifting slightly so that the arm around his waist was pulling him back down into the blankets. "Gamzee.. I have to go to school, get the fuck off of me. " Gamzee just grunted.

"Gamzee, dude, I'm fucking serious." Karkat started to pry at his arm, causing Gamzee to hiss, which turned into a sigh of defeat. He rolled onto his back, rubbing at his eye. He instantly let out a yelp, forgetting about the bandaged surface, now reminded completely of the night before from the throbbing, horrible pain. Karkat sighed, grabbing Gamzee's hand lightly and pulling it away from his face to examine the bandages. They were bloody, a deep shade of maroon that had started to seep through the pale white of the gauze.

"We need to change those.." Karkat muttered, tracing his fingers over the knots of knuckles on Gamzee's hand. Gamzee just let out a yawn, wincing at the stretch of cuts, single shown eye watering. It took him a moment to process what his friend had said, thinking over the words for a few moments before he glanced up at Karkat.

"Can a brother use your shower first man?"

"You'll get water in the cuts." Gamzee didn't seem to process what he meant. "It will hurt."

"Bath then. Something man, I feel like a motherfuckers been gettin' his lay on in a backroad during mud season." Karkat sighed before nodding. He sat up straight, rubbing at his eyes for a second before he threw the blankets off of the both of them. Swinging his stout legs over the side of the bed, he was on his feet and fumbling about for a shirt in seconds.

"C'mon, you should know where the bathroom is." Karkat said to him, glancing over his shoulder at his friend before forcing himself into a plain, navy blue t-shirt. Gamzee sat up slowly, letting out a soft grunt when his back popped. He was stiff as he shambled his way across the room and into the bathroom, closing the door with a gentle nudge of his heel before he set about with turning on the water in the tub.

He let out an almost disgusted grunt when he pulled his shirt off of his torso. There was still blood smeared across his chest in places, large, dark purple welts giving his pale skin a dappled tone to it. He felt just as disgusting as he looked, sticky from dried sweat and crusted blood, face aching from the cuts lining his otherwise well defined features. He finished stripping down before he made his way to the mirror and began unraveling the bandages, removing the gauze.

He cursed softly to himself as the padding stuck to his gashes, pulling at the scabs as he tried to tear it away, separate it from the dried blood. The edges had swollen just the slightest bit, small drops of blood welling to the surface where he tugged to hard. Once everything was removed from his face, he took a step back, and just looked at himself.

He was the poster child of abuse. Underfed, bones jutting and caving and countable with ease. His spine creating a small mountain ridge across the otherwise smooth, damaged planes of his back. Elbows like broken glass, ribs defined easily with a vague welt in the shape of a hand print on each side, framing his torso. Collarbone sharp and easily visible in an almost sickening way, hip bones like knives. Face worn, tired, damaged and hurt. But still so, so innocent, confused. Wondering why he looked like this, why he had to appear this way. Wondering what he did wrong.

Gamzee turned away, letting out a sigh. Without a second though, he fumbled his way into the bathtub, tripping slightly on the edge, before he sank down into the water. It was warm, soothing against his stiff joints and aching limbs. He leaned back in the tub, just enough to soak most of his hair, and closed his eyes. He let his mind wander after that point. Wondering what time it was, if he would be able to just hide at Karkat's for the day or if he would get dragged to school. If he could stay here for the night of if he would have to find another place to stay, anywhere other than at the apartment. The only thing that dragged his attention away from his stressful thinking was a harsh banging on the door.

"Would you hurry the fuck up?! I need to use the bathroom too you fucking know." Karkat snapped at him. Gamzee just chuckled, shaking his head as he sat up and started to look around for soap, and shampoo. "Gamzee, did you fucking hear me?! You better not be asleep or so help me god I'll make sure you won't fucking wake up."

"Alright, alright.. Chill out Best friend, I'm goin'." Gamzee called back to him, reaching for a bottle of something that looked like Shampoo and reading the label. "Shit Karbro, I didn't know a brother liked Cherries."

"Shut the fuck up, okay?!" Gamzee let out a chuckle before flipping the cap on the fair sized bottle and squeezing some of the goo into his hand. It was quickly worked into a lather and being massaged into Gamzee's matted, soaked mane of hair. He hummed softly to himself, just random notes strung together, random tunes he repeated until he rinsed off his hands in the bathwater, and cupped them together before bringing them to his head and starting to drip it back through his sudsy locks.

"Mother FUCKER THAT SHIT STINGS." Karkat let out a long sigh as he glared at the bathroom door.

"Gamzee what the ever loving fuck did you do this time?!" Karkat snapped at him before stalking over to the bathroom and knocking on the door.

"Ugh fuck man.. That shit ain't cool."

"Gamzee, dude, seriously, what the fuck happened." There was nothing more than a pained moan from before the door. Karkat sighed, before he reached a hand up and started to turn the door handle. "I'm coming in to see what you just did." Karkat snapped to him before he opened the door and started to stalk inside.

He was greeted with a lanky teenager, three forths of which were contorted underwater, holding onto his face for dear life, hair still dripping with shampoo. Karkat sighed softly, kneeling down next to the bathtub and reaching a hand out to rest on his friend's shoulder.

"You got Shampoo in your cuts, didn't you."

"Shit Best Friend I got it motherfucking everywhere. " Gamzee whimpered out to him through his spindly fingers. Karkat was as gentle as possible as he grasped both of his hands and started to tug them away from his face. Gamzee glanced up at Karkat with red, watering eyes, his cuts a puffy and holding an angry red tone, shampoo still dripping down his forehead. Karkat shook his head at the sight, sighing as he placed his companions hands back into the water and began to wipe the shampoo off of his face with his thumb.

"You obviously need help with everything, don't you.." Gamzee just sniffled in response. Standing, Karkat quickly went on to search for a towel of some kind, digging about in the various cabinets in his bathroom until he came across a maroon washcloth. He wet it in the sink before kneeling down next to his friend, starting to dab at his face gently with it. "May hurt but it'll make it stop burning."

"Thanks, Best Friend.." Gamzee murmured softly to him, eyes fixed on the water. Karkat just smiled slightly at him, before he finished wiping away the shampoo from his gashes. He set aside the washcloth.

"Turn around." Gamzee gave him a questioning look, one eyebrow raised in an almost confused way. Karkat just cast him a glare and started to twirl a finger in a circular motion. "Turn. Around." Gamzee, hesitant as he was with the request, still turned around. Back now facing Karkat, the smaller man began to kneed his fingers into Gamzee's hair, massaging at his scalp in a soothing way as he lathered the shampoo once more .

"You don't have to, Karbro." Gamzee said to him, eyes closed as he leaned his head back. It felt nice, and he almost wanted to take back telling Karkat that he didn't have to help him. He didn't want it to stop, it relaxed him. Reminded him of when he was just four, when his mother would help him wash his hair in the bathtub. Before she had gotten sick, had to stay in the Hospital all the time. He smiled bitter-sweetly at the memory, opening his eyes just slightly.

His mom had always been so sweet, so kind. Smiling wide, full lips stretched and pushing her round cheeks back. Hazel eyes big and bright and loving. She had been so good to him. Good to everyone really, she would always try to make everyone happy, make sure that everyone was smiling before she ever tried to do something for herself. Makarin and her had been so happy together, he loved her more than anything in the world. He had always been different ever since that last visit to the hospital. That last time he saw her, they exchanged "I love you"'s and one final farewell kiss. It was the first time Gamzee had ever seen his father crying, as he stood in the doorway holding Kurloz's hand.

He had gotten her a small bunch of balloons, all tied together with cheap, white string and a yellow weight with a smiley face to keep them from floating away. There were five, one for each year Gamzee had been alive at the time, each year he had known his Mother. Kurloz had helped Gamzee pick them out, crouched down next to him at the local super market, pointing out which ones their mother liked the most. Yellow, Orange, Pink, Green, Blue. Gamzee just grinned over at his brother, toothless in places, eyes scrunched from the bend of his smile. Kurloz ruffled his hair before he bought the balloons, and they ventured out to walk to the hospital, Kurloz scolding Gamzee about not loosing the balloons while he was lead by the hand down the sidewalk. Telling him "Baby brother, don't you just up and let go of those balloons. They're filled with miracles that're gonna help make Mommy better. Can't loose Miracles man, especially those. They're extra miraculous, got the special stardust in 'em."

"Will the special stardust help make Mommy better, Kur?"

"Most definitely, Gambro." He had crouched down at this point, giving him a smile. "Gonna make her all kinds of better. The kind that'll make her come back home." He had scooped him up in his arms, spinning him around for a second before letting his baby brother climb onto his back, carrying him the rest of the way to the hospital. Gamzee nearly stopped believing in Miracles that day, stop believing that people get better when they grow ill. He's hated Hospitals ever since, refusing to go near them no matter the cost.

"Gamzee, man, are you okay..?" Karkat muttered softly, soapy hand resting on his sharp shoulder. Gamzee opened his eyes slowly, letting out a slight laugh.

"I'm fine, brother of mine.." Gamzee muttered softly, letting out a sigh.

"You're crying again, are you sure.." Karkat muttered, leaning over his shoulder. "Is it the cuts, do you want some pain killers?"

"Nah man, just having me a motherfucking flashback.."

"Oh.." The room went silent for a moment. "Well, lean back, I need to rinse your hair out."

Gamzee simply nodded to him, turning a bit so that he could fully lean back in the tub. Once his hair was under the water, he let Karkat trance his fingers through the strands, washing out the shampoo. After a few moments, Karkat reached over and grabbed a second bottle of cherry-something goo, and began squeezing the paler substance into his hand, running it between his fingers and palms before he nodded to Gamzee.

"Sit up."

"The motherfuck is that brother." Gamzee muttered, sitting up in the tub lazily, shoulders slouchedf as he scratched at the back of his head.

"Conditioner." Karkat glanced at Gamzee's hair for a moment, before he went back to massaging his fingers together. "You need it."

"What does it up and get itself to doing."

"It makes your hair soft and more... Manageable. " Gamzee just shrugged, leaning his back against the side of the tub so that Karkat could go back to scrubbing at his hair. "You need a hair cut Gamz."

"You need a haircut." Gamzee retorted back. Karkat just stared at him for a few moments, causing Gamzee to glance up at him in a curious way, wondering why he had stopped rubbing his scalp.

"What the actual fuck." Karkat muttered, eyes still locked on Gamzee. "That is the worst retort I have ever heard leave your lips. I am disappointed in you, Gamzee Makara. So disappointed." The pair shared a laugh, before Karkat went back to his hair-washing, Gamzee in turn returning to his thoughts as he closed his eyes and just relaxed. That is, until there was a knock on the door.

"Karkat? You in there sweetheart?"

"Hey !"

"Dude, shut the fuck u-"

"Karkat, are you.. In there with someone? Who's over?"Gamzee snickered at Karkat as he began rinsing his hands in the water, splashing some water at his laughing friend as he did so. After he had finished removing the slick conditioner from his hands, he stood and stalked over to the door. He was practically glaring daggers through his mother when she peered inside.

"Yeah, hi."

"Hi..." She said softly, staring at Gamzee curiously. "Everything.. Okay?" She questioned Karkat softly, raising an eyebrow at him in suspicion. He let out a loud sigh before he stalked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind in.

"Did you need something." He grumbled to her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well yeah, I was wondering why Gamzee is over." She said to him, thumb pointing over her shoulder towards the bathroom door. Karkat rolled his eyes before thinking of a way to explain what had happened without causing a complete panic attack.

"His dad was drunk and he left the apartment for a bit.. He got jumped on the street and needed a place to crash for the night so I let him come over. Nothing major." Karkat grumbled. His mothered thought over his explanation for a few moments before she began to nod slowly.

"Did he need to go to the Hospital? He wasn't hurt was he?"

"He got a few scrapes it isn't anything major. Nothing I can't handle with some disinfectant and bandages." His mother only nodded, glancing back at the door.

"Well if you need anything, then just say.. And by the way, I'm serious about the whole no friends over for the week so.. " She said softly, gesturing towards the door before reaching out an arm. Before Karkat would comprehend what was going on, his mother had pulled him up against her chest, leaving loving pecks against the top of his head. He squirmed, flailing his arms to the best extent while snapping at his mother. She simply laughed at him, giving his head one last kiss before she let go of him, chuckling to herself before she left the room. Glaring after her, Karkat slipped back into the bathroom.

"Sorry.." He muttered to Gamzee, who had laid back in the bathtub once more.

"It's cool best friend.." Gamzee muttered softly, sitting up. "Got a towel a brother can get his use on with?" He fumbled with the edge of the tub, starting to stand up out of the water.

"W-wait, wait, wait." Karkat snapped at him, holding up a hand. "I do not need to see your nasty junk." He quickly started to fuss about for a towel, managing to find one buried in the back of his cabinets. He set it next to the sink before heading for the doorway, the sound of sloshing water filling the air as Gamzee tripped his way out of the tub on aching, lanky limbs.

Before he could even close the door, a pair of damp arms were winding around Karkat's chest, a forehead pressed to his shoulder. He tensed for a second, twisting slightly in Gamzee's loose hold so that he could see him better. He frowned, reaching a hand up and lifting his friend's head from his shoulder, giving him a worried look.

"Gamz? What's wrong, you okay?" Gamzee just wrapped his arms tighter around Karkat, nodding slightly and leaning into the hand Karkat still had pressed to his cheek. Karkat sighed softly, stroking his thumb over an undamaged part of Gamzee's otherwise abused and torn cheek.

"Thanks, best friend.." Gamzee muttered softly, eyes closed. Karkat leaned forward, resting his cheek against his friend's chest. He didn't mind the fact that he was still pretty much soaked. Or the fact that he was nearly naked, give the towel loosely wrapped around his hips. He dropped the hand from his friend's face, wrapping both of his arms around his lanky best friend.

"Anytime, Gamzee.." Karkat mumbled into his chest softly, rubbing at his smooth, welt smothered back as he did so.

After the two had migrated away from the bathroom, Karkat had managed to dig up an old shirt and pair of jeans of his brothers. Gamzee had been more than hesitant to take them, knowing how close Karkat had been to his older brother, but ended up caving when Karkat wouldn't let up. He refused to let Gamzee wear anything else, practically forcing him into the clothes. Once he was dressed, and Karkat had changed into a less damp shirt, the pair wandered into the bathroom once more to tend to Gamzee's aching face.

With many a fussing and swearing, Karkat managed to re-bandage Gamzee's gashes, forcing him to take two painkillers, before he was dragged downstairs. An attempt was made at getting out the door before Karkat's parents saw Gamzee's bandaged face, mainly to avoid any panicking that might ensue at the sight of Karkat's not-as-bad-as-it-seems repair job, but to no avail.

"Gamzee, what in the name of God happened to you?!" Christian, Karkat's father, hollered at him as Gamzee was being shoved out the door. Karkat went stiff behind him when his father's panicked snapping filled the house, Karkat's mother rushing out to see what all the commotion was.

"I-I.." Gamzee stammered, Christian making his way over to the pair to examine the mass of gauze tied to the lanky teen's face.

"He got jumped last night, he didn't want to go home since his dad was drunk." Karkat quickly stammered. "It's just some scrapes it isn't as bad as it looks."

"Yeah man, I ain't got nothing to get yourself to being worried over." Gamzee muttered, reaching for the door handle. Both of Karkat's parents looked skeptical, Christian daring to open his mouth and stop the pair before Karkat cut him off with a stammered excuse of not being late for school, before prompting shoving Gamzee out the door and down the street.

Neither talked very much as they wandered their way to school, Gamzee scuffing his feet on the sidewalk, kicking rocks that got in his path, while Karkat just kept his eyes downcast, mouth downturned in the slightest. His forehead was creased, as if he was in deep thought over something.

"You don't have to take me to school, y'know, I can just go chill somewhere else.." Gamzee muttered softly to Karkat as they rounded a corner. Karkat just shrugged, letting out a soft sigh. He stopped after a few moments, arm outstretched to snag the edge of Gamzee's shirt sleeve, stopping him mid step. "S'up best friend?"

"Did you really "run into people" last night..?" Karkat asked him softly, not meeting his eyes. Gamzee tensed slightly at his question, gaze cast down at his worn converse as he scuffed them against the sidewalk nervously. "You can tell me the truth, you know."

"Karkat, bro.." Gamzee let out a sigh, stuffing his hands into his pockets, fingers aimlessly digging about in it's content. "I woulda told you if something else happened man." He hated lying, especially to Karkat. He frowned, shoulders drooping. He wished he could tell him what had really happened, everything that had already happened. Name off what caused every scar, bruise, odd indentation on his person, but he was too scared. Not of what his father would do if he found out, but of what Karkat would do. What he would think of him. "Don't worry your nug off brother, we gotta get you to school."

"Yeah.. Yeah, okay Gamz.." Karkat muttered softly, sighing and forcing a smile up at his friend when he raised a large hand and rested it on his shoulder. After that the pair walked in silence to the school, Gamzee hesitantly slipping inside after Karkat, following him around like a not so small dog through the hallways. He could feel eyes on him, having thick white gauze and bandages wrapped around your head most definitely didn't help with keeping a low profile. He could hear the whispers, hear all the muttered comments on what might have happened to him. Gamzee just tried to block it all out the best he could.

"Hey best friend." Gamzee called to him softly once the pair had stopped at Karkat's locker. He glanced up from the metal interior of it curiously, eying the lanky teen standing next to him before he went back to his rummaging about inside of it.

"Yeah Gamzee?"

"Could I up and stay at your place again tonight?" He asked him softly, eyes downcast. He had a feeling he already knew the answer to his question; A big, fat, loud "NO!", shout pole most definitely added on the end.

"Gamz, I told you that I ca-"

"I ain't gonna be making myself a trouble brother, I just really need a place to stay."

"Gamzee.." Karkat sighed, closing his locker gently. "I told you. I don't have any control over it, it's what my parents s-"

"I don't got myself another place I can be spending the night.." Gamzee muttered, leaning his back against the lockers along side Karkat's. He could hear him sighing. "It's your place or the bridge.."

"The bridge?"

"Yeah man.. When I ain't got a place to stay I camp it under the bridge downtown." Gamzee glanced over at Karkat, wincing at the frown he had on his face. Sighing, he reached a hand up, letting it rest on his friend's shoulder in a reassuring way. "It's fine Best friend, M'sorry for asking.."

"No, don't be sorry." Karkat snapped at him.

"Nah man, I had a feeling you woulda said n-"

"You can, stay at, uhm, my house..?" A soft voice coming from behind Gamzee cut him off, a grin starting to spread over his chapped lips as he turned around and saw none other than Tavros Nitram. Hands folded around a backpack he had in his lap, his eyes went wide with shock and a look of horror when he saw Gamzee's face, who's grin instantly disappeared. "I-I.. W-what, happened?"

"I uh.." Gamzee thought over his words for a few seconds, not wanting to freak the meek boy in the wheelchair out. "I was out the other night and I got jumped s'all. Shit ain't getting itself to looking as fine as it really is Tavbro." He raised his hands innocently, worried that Tavros might wheel away in fear of him. Gamzee was more than relieved when Tavros remained where he was, giving him worried and nervous looks.

"I.. W-well, okay.." Tavros muttered hesitantly. "But still you, can probably come over, tonight. I.. Overheard?" His cheeks darkened slightly at that, like a small child's that was caught eves dropping might. Gamzee just grinned down at him happily, nodding.

"Man, you're a motherfucking life saver." Gamzee reached up a hand, daring to ruffle his Mohawk slightly, Tavros just chuckling softly as he did so.

"I was.. Planning on, asking you if you wanted, uh.. To come over tonight.." Tavros said softly, twiddling his thumbs idly as he explained. "So, everything is all, set up." He gave Gamzee a smile, which was graciously returned. "M-maybe we could, uh.. Watch a, movie?"

"Brother, I would love to get my movie watching on with you man." Tavros grinned at him, before a loud ringing filled the halls. Tavros glanced up at the clock before frowning slightly, shifting the bag he had on his lap.

"W-well, I have to, go to class.." Me mumbled in a hushed tone.

"Same." Karkat said. Gamzee glanced between the two, before pulling Karkat into a soft hug.

"Thank you, Best friend.." Gamzee muttered softly to him, Karkat taken by surprise from the sudden embrace. He returned it all the same though, muttering a quick "It's no problem" before Gamzee let him go and watched him wander away to class.

"Hey, you want me to wa-" Gamzee turned, cut off to see Tavros had already begun to roll away from him. With a start, he lurched forward, winding his way through multiple bodies until he had managed his way in front of Tavros' wheelchair, the edge just barely hitting his shins. Tavros stared up at him in a startled way, hand clenching the break.

"G-Gamzee! You need to, be more careful!" He exclaimed, raising a hand to help exaggerate what he was saying. "I-I-I could have, run you over or, something just as bad!" Gamzee just chuckled, shaking his head. He reached a hand up, pressing it to Tavros' outstretched palm, amused of the way his palm dwarfed Tavros' easily.

"Let a brother walk you to class." Tavros eyed him suspiciously for a moment, before he sighed, returning the lazy grin that Gamzee was giving him.

"Alright.." Tavros said softly to him, pressing his palm just slightly against Gamzee's before he dropped it into his lap once more. The lanky teen's face seemed to light up when he felt the pressure was returned, and cast him one last, face-splitting grin before he circled around Tavros and grasped the handles of his wheelchair, beginning to push him to class.


End file.
